To love someone with chronic illness

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Kausa
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To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Kausa »

I found this on tumblr and thought it was really beautiful.
Spoiler:
To love someone with a chronic illness is to be a doctor. It means helping them to remember their medications. It means driving them for an hour to the only 24 hour pharmacy when they’ve gotten the flu and can’t can only take one brand of cold medicine, and your local CVS is out of it. Or driving them to the hospital when the simple flu turns into bronchitis or pneumonia or sepsis.
To love someone with a chronic illness is to be patient. It means knowing that some days they won’t feel good for no visible reason. It means canceling long term plans when suddenly they doesn’t feel well enough to go on a trip. Or waiting to go to bed while they do their night-time medication reutine.
To love someone with a chronic illness is to be a priest. It means consoling them when they’re tired and feel like they can’t do it anymore. It means listening and not passing judgment while they try to figure out her new dosages and makes mistakes. Or, during those tough times, listening to their burial wishes – just in case.
To love someone with a chronic illness is to be a guardian. It means standing up for them when strangers accuse them of being a drug addict. It means discreetly asking their friends to keep an eye on her when she’s testing new medications and doesn’t know the reactions to their body yet. Or staying up with them through the night because they’re too afraid to fall asleep where a coma can find them.
To love someone with a chronic illness is to not be superficial. It means seeing their bruises as beauty marks. It means caressing the scars across their body. Or kissing their dry lips when they are hooked to IVs. To love someone with a chronic illness is to be smart. It means researching new medications even though they never ask you to. It means listening to them explain their new findings in terms that aren’t typical language. Or making them smile when they desperately wants to scream.
To love someone with a chronic illness is to be selfless. It means going to a restaurant based off the menu instead of the atmosphere. It means going without dinner when money is tight because you can buy their medication with it instead.
To love someone with a chronic illness is to be brave. It means keeping your chin up while they talk about those scary moments. It means not allowing their medical mistakes to colour your relationship with them emotionally. Or keeping positive spirits even though all of the websites and gatherings tell you they won’t statistically make it past their 50s, or 40s, or 30s, or that they shouldn’t even have made it as far as they have.
To love someone with a chronic illness is not easy. It means putting their medical needs before any other finances. It means worrying every moment that they are properly cared for even when you can’t see them. And it means trusting their life in the hands of so many doctors who don’t understand the full complexities of the disease.
Thank you for loving someone with a chronic illness.

http://spraycan-me.tumblr.com/post/2282 ... ic-illness
Do you know someone with a chronic illness? Any thoughts or comments on them or this piece?
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Ivogoji »

Nope. Not personally anyway.
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Pseudonym »

mmm. someone who is very important to me has type 1 diabetes, so yeah this is relatable. but still even if you don't know anybody that can make you relate to this, this is definitely an important read well worth the time.
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Lamby »

I can relate. I actually have a muscular disease called Duchennes Muscular Dystrophy. It prevents the body from creating dystrophin which is what repairs muscle tissue as you use it. In my case when my muscles are used, they don't regenerate, meaning over time my muscular tissues progressively degrade. Textbook jargon says that around age 8 the child loses the ability to walk. Near my ninth birthday I became permanently wheelchair bound. In the teen years the back muscles around the spine give out, causing severe scoliosis. At 13 I had a stainless steel rod fused to my spine to keep it upright. Eventually I lost most strength everywhere but my head, neck and hands.

Because the heart and diaphragm are muscles, now that I'm approaching 20 I take heart medicine to keep it stable and recently was placed on a ventilator to breathe for me since my lungs failed.

However, I'm not worried. I have a special someone who helps me through who that that passage reminds me of. Thanks for sharing, Kausa. That's really kind of you.
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Nirvana »

Yeah, I dated a chick once that said she had cancer. I do not remember what kind of cancer it is, and when I asked her if it was terminal she said it could be. :/ A homie o' mine had cancer, too. Thankfully, he got treatment and is well now. Lemme see... oh, my aunt has diabetes, high blood pressure and asthma. Didn't stop my uncle. :P My mom's ex-boyfriend (RIP) had diabetes and high blood pressure. He died about two years ago because o' some heart complications. My mom was the only person I know that was really 100 per cent active in another person's illness.

Those are all the people I know of. And that's a beautiful poem. Yup.
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Kausa »

@AtomicBat
I am so sorry to hear that Bat, but I'm glad to hear you have someone to support you.
Remember all of CI will support you too! :3

@Nirvana
Wow, thats a lot of people!
And yeah, that poem was really pretty, but it was actually reworded. It was originally just for cancer.



I personally know quite a few people too. My grandmother had heart problems her whole life and was always sick. She had a stainless steal valve in her heart. They worried about her heart her whole life, then she died of ovarian cancer when I was 5.
My dad has really bad liver problems, but I won't specify which, and hes had part of his liver taken off, been on radiation treatment and lost a lot of hair, and is still pretty sick on a day to day basis. My mom has neck problems, not really sure about them, but she could become completely paralyzed later on I guess. She doesn't talk about it much.
And me. I have fibromyalgia, asthma, and thalassaemia.
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by truesilva »

This Topic is really moving, Thanks for posting this kausa
My mum had cancer when I was little, she lived thank god XD
just, it's a very nice passage c:
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Moonstalker »

I ended up taking care of my uncle, before he died of cancer, for a couple weeks one time. He was really funny and down to earth when he wasn't destroyed from Chemo.

My grandmother also had lung cancer. Not quite as funny, but still a good woman. I didn't take care of her, but I often visited her in South Carolina over weekends and breaks.
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Mana »

I can't remember a time where my mother wasn't sick, and I imagine she's always going to be that way.

There are times where I had to take care of her and watch over her. Even though those times aren't too frequent, I worry about her each day. Any day could be a bad one without any warning. She has baker's asthma along with other lung problems on top of terrible back and leg pains.
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Kausa »

^Aw I'm sorry Mana.
Is she on an oxygen tank or anything?
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Mephilesfan1 »

This is a beautiful poem, made me think. I have had many family members die from numeros kinds of illnesses. Most of them weren't very close to me but I Stil miss them
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Kausa »

^Of course you still miss them. Family is family, even if you've only talked a few times.
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Starmy »

Lung cancer and diabetes run in the family, both sides.
Three grandfathers have died from lung cancer, two grandmothers. I think some great-grandparents too?
It's a shame because I really loved most of them. One of my grandfathers was really super close to me and when he passed away I was a wreck. He taught me Spanish and I would visit him up in Atlanta a lot. He was really funny too.
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Mana »

Kausa wrote:^Aw I'm sorry Mana.
Is she on an oxygen tank or anything?
Thank you, and no she isn't. But she does have an inhaler in case she has an asthma attack.
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Kausa »

^ Not sure if you know this, she might not have complained, but inhalers are a pain in the rear!
I hate always having a purse on me, or always having pockets.
And if I leave it at home and have an asthma attack its straight to the hospital. Scary thought. Gives me panic attacks.
And people wonder why I'm so worried about forgetting things.
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by qwerty79 »

My dad suffers from type 1 diabetes as well as chronic fatigue and arm, feet, and back pains. I personally believe that the worst of those conditions is chronic fatigue because it prevents him from doing almost anything without being at risk of blacking out. This has kept him from working for as long as I can remember, so he stays home and teaches my brother. The saddest part about all this is that he looks as if nothing is wrong, so people who don't know him have a lot of touble understanding.
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Soniclover300 »

This topic is making me cry...

I'm not really too sure what a chronic illness is but my dad has had skin cancer 3 times. I'm not scared though cause I know he'll always be fine. I had a spot cut out of my back a few months ago because it's most likely cancer and a feeew people know about my other encounters with cancer.

I have one friend that I can't go on one day without worrying about her and if she's okay and stuff. I love her very very much and I think about her all the time. I'm going to grow up and become a doctor and make her better. x3
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Re: To love someone with chronic illness

Post by Kausa »

^Thats really nice of you~
May I ask what she is sick with?
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