Slut shaming, and such.

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Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Triert »

Hello I am Triert, let's talk.

Now I understand when it comes to this topic its very easy to appear as a misogynist. I'll do my best not to sound like one so long as I'm called one unless truly warranted.

You see, I figure the only reason men don't like sluts is more than not that there's a chance that these women carry more diseases. I don't see why they just don't ask for a medical check-up so they don't thrust into their death really. But do you think its alright to belittle women for their choice of attire, or think any less of them. Now with that, come a lot of complaints regarding men staring at these woman. I will not go any further because any stance I take, will feel unwelcome unless stated by a female herself.

Now then, let me state this perfectly clear regarding someone on our forum. If they reject you that does not make them a lesbian, it just means they're not interested. Don't make up assumptions just because you can't hook up with someone, and if you're going to do it don't hide behind an anonymous filter so we can get a good look at you.

I'm done for now, if you notice an error in judgement you feel I might have made please bring it up.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Lamby »

Here are my thoughts regarding the issue itself:

The number of sleeping partners a woman has has little to do with contracting diseases. As with all STDs, lack of sexual education and affordable medical care is what encourages their spread. A woman could contract a STD from their first partner ever because of no fault of their own. A woman in a poly relationship could have two partners and contract nothing because every party involved is educated and careful. The chance isn't higher; that is no more than a probability fallacy ("the more you do something the more likely something will occur") that safety largely disproves. Shaming is a poisonous judgment that affects innocent women and women in non-traditional relationships socially because they're stigmatized for doing something that only affects them and their partners. If a woman's morality hurts no one, there is nothing inherently wrong about their choices, in my opinion.

Regarding attire, how someone is dressed doesn't absolve us from having the decency and restraint not to stare, unless a behavioral disorder is involved. I'm not outraged when I see a man without his shirt, so I'm not outraged when a woman chooses to show more skin either.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Tobi »

The amount of times someone had sex is that person, and none other's business. Doesn't that kind of show she most likely doesn't have it, because, why else would she go around and spread it? Also, there's protection for such things.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Triert »

The amount of times someone had sex is that person, and none other's business.

Is it that bad that a partner might just have some questions?
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Tobi »

That's relationship business. Business between two persons. It's still none of your business.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Triert »

I'm not trying to make it my business.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Prince Ricard »

tobi's avatar is perfect here

Ahem.
Yes, most of what's been said here is true, and I agree. Now let's wait for that inherent person who disagrees.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Dr. Roivas »

i also agree with pretty much everything

the amount of people somebody has slept with shouldnt actually matter to anybody
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Kausa »

Yeah so pretty much what people do with their lives isn't anyones biz unless it affects them.
So who they sleep with, how they dress, what they do to themselves, their weight, their looks, how they believe shouldn't even be a topic and if you feel like shaming someone for it you need to sit in a corner and think about how badly you stink.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Sable »

i'm in no way shaming, but it's my personal belief that people shouldn't have sex outside of relationships. i'm not enforcing this belief on anyone nor will i get mad at others for not sharing it, it's simply my opinion.

buuuut, according to samy, it's sexually oppressive. so, w/e

dressing tho **** that people can dress however they want they can go NAKED in public if they want
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Mana »

I think what's appropriate to wear in public or in other places should be equal for both genders. If it's appropriate for a man to jog down the road without a shirt on, the same should be for a woman and I do mean braless if she wishes to be. If a lady likes to show some of her skin off, that shouldn't be seen as a problem and she shouldn't be shamed for it.

I also agree that people shouldn't have sex outside of relationships, but if it's consensual and safety is practiced then that's fine I guess. I'm kinda okay with the idea of friends having sex, as long as the friendship itself isn't based on sex. I just don't agree with it, but I don't think of people badly for choosing to have casual sex. What I can't stand though is that only women seem to be the only ones that get bashed on for it, and if there's going to be bashing I feel like it's only fair to have men be bashed too. If someone is going to hate on casual sex, I think it's really unfair for that hatred to be centered on only one gender since it's not like only one gender is capable of practicing it.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Kausa »

I agree with Mana about being shirtless. Its not fair that men can be but women cant :c

@Riku/Mana
I understand having those views for yourself and only wanting to have sex in a relationship and all that stuff, buy why bother yourselves with what other people do in their own personal lives?
Riku its only sexual oppression if you are telling other people your opinion about their sex lives. Its not oppression if thats how you chose to live your life, but once you tell other people its wrong then your crossing the line. If you haven't, then its not oppression.
Same with you Mana, if you agree with it or not is fine, as long as you aren't shaming or making other people feel bad for who they chose to sleep with.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by EvilPinkamina »

From personal experience, girls call each other sluts more than guys do. But that just might me my school.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Renata »

i really honestly hate the word slut.
like, i seriously do.
girls get called sluts all the time based on what they wear or how they act, and hell, for this reason girls who arent even promiscuous get called names. it's just plain stupid, and it makes me sad, because we're teaching young boys and girls that having sex is bad and it makes you dirty.
i have no issue with promiscuity. as has been reiterated, how many people you sleep with is your business and nobody elses.
having sex at a young age is also a personal choice, one that i personally happen not to agree with, but yet people still seem to have a ton of issues with respecting that. it's not like it's even harming anybody; they're not personally victimizing you by choosing to participate in those behaviors. if you think they're stupid for doing it, cool. it's still their choice. let them live and make mistakes if they want to. not your problem.

i agree with many people when they say that abstinence-only sex education does nothing to help our youth; girls especially. most girls probably don't even learn about that stuff until they're near adults. it's kind of sad actually, because if we actually had proper sex education, we probably wouldn't have so many teen pregnancies, and maybe we'd be able to stop this sort of behavior at a younger age. because, hey, guess what! sex is an important human function! it's natural! it can also be fun! there's nothing icky about it! just because some people enjoy it more than others does not make them bad! it just means they like sex! god social standards are so dumb.

looping back around to the topic of girls though, oh god. it really really really makes me upset how much girls mistreat other girls. god, don't even get me started. i think jealousy, on part of the girls, is one of the main driving forces behind slut-shaming. as for the guys, well they're kind of just entitled assholes in most cases. ugh.


while i'm here can i also say that dress codes make me angry too.
like seriously. why the **** do we have to change what we wear so boys don't ogle us.
why don't you ****ing teach the boys that it's not okay to ogle/grope us.
seriously we're not allowed to wear anything strapless or with spaghetti straps here.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Mana »

Kausa wrote:why bother yourselves with what other people do in their own personal lives?
Having those beliefs doesn't make you involved in what people choose to do with their lives. So unless you mean something else, I don't see how I am.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Kausa »

while i'm here can i also say that dress codes make me angry too.
like seriously. why the **** do we have to change what we wear so boys don't ogle us.
why don't you ****ing teach the boys that it's not okay to ogle/grope us.
YES THANK YOU.
This always made me mad :/


@mana
I just meant if your beliefs went as far as telling people what they can and can't do or making then feel bad. (Which I doubt for you but some people really feel the need to do that stuff)
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Linds 269 »

While I definitely agree that boys shouldn't ogle or grope, they have hormones too. And if girls are showing stuff, why wouldn't they be? It's like inviting them to stare. They can't always help it. Girls are pretty much asking for it at that point.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by EvilPinkamina »

^Adding onto Linds's post
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Renata »

oh my god are you ****ing serious

yeah ok, some people would show more skin for attention. that's a given. but why?
well maybe because they like it!!! it still doesn't make it any more okay for boys to touch them or objectify them!!! i don't care if you think they're asking for it or not, it's still not okay!!!!
some people are confident enough to show more skin. it doesn't make them slutty!! it just means that they're okay with showing more of their body because they just don't care what other people think. they own their body and they're damn proud of it.

p.s. sometimes girls want to wear short shorts and tank tops because its ****ing hot as hell outside
also bikinis are swimwear.
usually if you see a girl dressed in short shorts and swimwear it means that it's hot out and she's going to go swimming. it literally does not mean anything else.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Zacmac74 »

^
Lindsay never said it was okay, she just said that they would. It's a fact that some guys just don't keep their hormones in check.

I guess I personally don't want to bother anyone with how they dress. I couldn't care less. I've never (that I remember) called someone a slut, and I hopefully never will. Like mana and riku, I also believe that sex should be confined to relationships (actually marriage in my case, but I'm not going to go telling people to abstain until marriage) but people can believe whatever they want to. But yeah keep in mind it's not like I shove this on other people.
I was super young when I used this forum and probably said weird or odd stuff. Dont hold me to it!
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Kausa »

Women should be able to dress however they want for whatever reason they want.
Schools shouldn't say "don't dress like that" they should tell the boys "don't ogle or look at them, its not polite".
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by SuperCyber15 »

i think there are two sides????

like there's the side where sometimes schools are just proper and they have girls and boys dress a certain way and when you sign up for a school like that you follow their rules because that's what you signed up for whether you like it or not

but then theres the other total side where if schools are literally just like "girls you need to look like snowbeasts because boys are too horny and disrespectful" then there's an extreme problem there and they just need to keep their boys in check??? just because girls want to feel good about themselves and their fashion choices and the way they dress does not mean they are asking for boys to stare at them non stop and treat them like sex objects because that is not ok in any way shape or form no matter what the reason its just not ok.

i personally do not agree with like seeing how many people you can have sex with because that does not put you on a pedestal (to be shamed or congratulated) whether it be men or women it shouldn't be something to be admired but you shouldn't make people feel awful and bully them just because theyre doing something that (if they're smart) is really harmless to you personally.

i think how family/marriage is working more these days is most people are just sort of "hey im going to go have sEX!!!" and then they get someone/themselves pregnant and then theyre stuck raising a family together (which most of the time is dysfunctional or the father/mother leaves). i think you should find who you want to be happy with first (regardless of gender) and then make whatever choices you want with them and if it doesnt work out go find someone else to be happy with, but for whatever reason people are turning sex into a competition and ranking each other on how many people they can have sex with and it makes me really angry.

this whole post was filled with unpopular opinions but oh well~~~~
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by chaobreedersmh »

Yes, yes, I agree with pretty much everything Cyber said.

I get uncomfortable when someone brings up casual sex, but I get uncomfortable with sex in general so eh. I guess I don't really care if someone has it, and I don't care how people dress. I just don't understand why a person would have sex with someone they don't know. I have lost my ability to explain my thoughts about this in words.

I'm not sure about my stance on anything.

Let me say. I am not alright with shaming women for having a lot of sex, and praising men for the same thing. Calling someone a slut for how they dress is ridiculous.

I feel like this post is contradictory, doesn't explain my thoughts well, and is missing something, but it is the best I can do for right now.
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by SuperCyber15 »

i don't agree with praising/shaming having a lot of sex regardless of gender its that persons personal business and it doesnt make them better or worse for it
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Re: Slut shaming, and such.

Post by Jeffery Mewtamer »

As long as all parties involved have given their consent and proper discretion(i.e. not doing it in public) is taken, I say anything goes in regards to sexual activity. That said, I think everyone should have unrestricted access to comprehensive sexual education, accurate knowledge, and contraception and protection.
The root cause of problems associated with being sexually active are due to ignorance and irresponsibility, not engagin in acts that some would consider deviant.

Also, the act of looking, regardless of the who is looking and who is being looked at, is, in itself, harmless. Of course, one should be repremanded if they are distracted to the point of failing to fulfill their responsibilities or being distracting to the point that they interfere with their coworkers fulfilling their responsibilities.

As for school dress codes, I personally favor Uniforms and simply avoiding the complexity of regulating a dress code. Of course, uniform design should take comfort and utility into consideration, so nothing overly confining. That said, I am also for freedom of choice regarding where one goes to school, and while I would view it as a rather shallow reason, choosing not to attend a certain school because you dislike their uniform is completely valid. That said, a School should have no authority over a student's conduct outside of official school functions.
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