Would you ever hit your child?

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Would you ever hit your child?

Post by retrolinkx »

I feel as if discussion has stagnated even more recently, so I think it would be interesting to have some somewhat controversial topics on GD for us to discuss, so bringing back an old topic from 2011.
retrolinkx wrote:Now this is a question that has been boggling my mind for a while, and I'd like to know if you would and your opinion of it.

Now for me, it depends. Lets say my child runs across the road when I tell him not to I would smack him on the hand, and tell him not to do that again so that the child would associate it with pain, and not do it again.

But I wouldn't go crazy and beat him with a belt for telling a lie that didn't hurt anyone.

So /Discuss.
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Re: Would you ever hit your child?

Post by Skonia »

i would never, ever. there is no particular reason that you need to use pain as a punishment. i'd probably find other ways like gentle explaining of what they did wrong, or maybe just grounding or taking toys away. i feel like if you already establish a good relationship with your child though, they'd listen if you were nice about it in the first place.
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Re: Would you ever hit your child?

Post by Nano »

Well I mean

Did they swing first??????

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Re: Would you ever hit your child?

Post by Jeffery Mewtamer »

Short answer: No.

Long answer:

I have read nothing to suggest that hitting or yelling at a child, or an adolescent or adult for that matter, is all that effective at influencing behavior in a desirable direction and plenty to suggest that such harsh means can have undesirable effects. Being needlessly harsh as an authority figure demoralizes and breeds fear and resentment in those under one's authority, which does not make for a healthy superior-subordinate relationship and is not conducive to the superior getting the best out of their subordinates, and my reading suggests this holds true for both parent/child(or caregiver/child in general) and manager/employee relationships.

That I generally find my nearly 4-year-old great niece to be far more cooperative towards me than towards other members of my household when I'm the only one in the house not in the habit of frequently, if not constantly, yelling at her and I'm fairly sure both her mother and aunt use corporal punishment on a regular basis only seems to reinforce the validity of my reading, though I can't rule out confirmation bias. Then again, the girl's mother is the kind of person who will make more noise trying to get her child to quiet down, seems incapable of talking to anyone without yelling, gets confused or angry when I manage, without a word, to get the child to do something she's been yelling about for ten minutes(often something the mother could've done herself in a fraction of the time she spent yelling), and makes the proverbial mule seem overeager to help. I've even made the comment that my great niece seems more mature than her 24-year-old mother on more than one occasion. That my great niece's mother is in a wheelchair garners no sympathy from me since she's constantly using her disability as an excuse for her laziness(and it isn't even the smart kind of laziness where one does small chores to avoid the need for big chores or puts a little effort into organization to avoid a lot of effort searching for things, but the kind where she expects everyone to do everything for her, even things everyone knows she's more than capable of doing herself and seems to think people can read her mind).

So, to the extent I am able to predict future me's behavior, I will not make the conscious decision to hit any future children of mine, nor will I make the conscious decision to yell at them in a context where my normal voice should be sufficient for them to hear me, and I hope I never lose my temper to the point that I hit them or even just yell at them out of anger.
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Re: Would you ever hit your child?

Post by Ivogoji »

Striking a physically weaker person with limited ability to defend themselves is unsportsmanlike.
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Re: Would you ever hit your child?

Post by thatguyinthecorner »

My dad spanked me as a kid and look how I turned out: bitter, impulsive and angry

In short: No.

In long: If I ever did, it would be an impulsive action and I would immediately hate myself for it.
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Re: Would you ever hit your child?

Post by Enzo03 »

As a primary means of discipline, absolutely not. Growing up I was spanked often as a form of discipline and probably one of the biggest issues that arose out of it was as follows:

- If I did something bad there would be consequences, BUT
- the consequences will be swift and won't last for long.

I can see it being all right for things like stopping especially dangerous things from happening (young kids can do stupid things) or being young enough that reasoning with them doesn't necessarily work, but the old ways of relying on corporal punishment for literally everything are dead for the better.

...

That said, I don't feel the effects are necessarily as bad as some claim they are. Many of the people with the same issues that I have personality/discipline-wise had opposite upbringings, so I think the way the components of one's upbringing are implemented comes first.

By far the worst were the ones whose parents either simply didn't care or straight out abused them, never providing love or positive reinforcement.
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Re: Would you ever hit your child?

Post by Lamby »

no i'm a mother not a conservative barbarian named unga-bunga

i'd launch them to space

real answer: still no, i kinda value psychiatric and child development experts over sociopathic and socially inept adults
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