can we talk about how hostile this site is now

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:03 am

Being friends who have private discussions away from the view of everyone else.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Nano » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:03 am

... Erm... Triert that's normal.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:07 am

People usually call that a clique, unless we're going off the first thing found on google.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by EvilPinkamina » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:07 am

Cliques are generally defined differently than frendships due to their exclusivity. As far as I can tell, that's not really the case here/with the discord server, bc from what I've noticed as long as you're not an ass all the time people will generally be fine w/ you.

Also, most of the discussions aren't private. They're in a discord server open to anyone who wants to be in it, either in voice or text chat.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Tsui » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:07 am

Triert wrote:Being friends who have private discussions away from the view of everyone else.
Nano wrote:... Erm... Triert that's normal.
There's a difference between friendly discussion and gossip and ridicule.


I may have indulged in all this behavior before, but I apologize, and I want to be the kind of person who is easy to approach, if that makes sense.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by EvilPinkamina » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:10 am

Gossip and sharing similar opinions is something that friends generally do with each other.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by chaoadventures » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:16 am

well from the sound of it friends are most certainly unpleasant

0/10 would not befriend again
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:17 am

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Okay fine, we don't have to use the dirty word known as clique. We can call it a divide between older members and newer members.

The newer members have complaints and the older members are denying they exist again.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Pufflehugs » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:19 am

I just gotta say, that is probably the single most fitting reaction image you could have used
If you say C*ncrete with no censor I'LL BLOCK YOU
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Nano » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:28 am

Triert wrote:People usually call that a clique, unless we're going off the first thing found on google.
Well they're wrong. Plain and simple. W-R-O-N-G, wrong.

You and I have private convos sometimes. Are we a clique? No.

Is it a clique when I talk to my friends Retro and Crash on steam? No.

Are you in a clique because you talk with people privately that I don't know about? No.

Cliques are exclusive, visible groups that you're not allowed into unless you meet a certain requirement. Being a "jock" is great example. Do anybody get to hang out with jocks? No, cause jocks are on the football team and thus hang out exclusively and let nobody in.

What I think confuses people the most is that when someone is in a friend group with some other peeps and wants to be in that group, acting as if they somehow suddenly deserve to be in there and that if they aren't invited in, that they're a clique because it's ~~exclusive~~. Truth of the matter is, that's just not how friend groups work lol. I'm not gonna invite Crazo to my discord server filled with my close friends I've known all my life or something. That's not what that group is for. I might make a new group and see how things work out, or invite him to things we're doing until he's better accepted, but don't expect every friend group to just invite and embrace you with open arms.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by chaoadventures » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:32 am

>triert says we'll stop saying that term
>nano keeps talking about that term

you guys are on fire today
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:33 am

But when the same few people control the flow of discussion in the chatbox discord and say "anyone's free to join." But don't involve themselves with anyone else's discussions there or here, what can we call that?

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Crazo3077 » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:42 am

I was gonna do something fun and silly, but I'm just gonna cut right down to the point.

Denying new applicants and excluding a former member are two very different concepts.

Are entirely new people who want to join the server denied? No. If they're a CI member, they're accepted.

The problem you have, Triert, is that you were banned and now you want back in, but you don't want to acknowledge or improve on the reasons you were banned. Any administrator or moderator who saw how you presently handle socializing on this forum would be hesitant to welcome you into their chat, especially if you have a history of blocking the administrators on Discord.

Like I'll 100% say that if Puffle got denied that's silly, but Triert knows full well why he isn't in the server and wants to paint it like it is a social injustice against a larger group than just himself. No. He's fighting a personal crusade, and pretty much everyone knows it.

I'm going to compare joining the server like choosing to go to a dance club, but one that's running 24/7. When you show up to a club, the DJ is already playing music and the people are already dancing or drinking or whatever. Your arrival doesn't need to be met with everyone stopping and greeting you, or walking you through the dances or bar menu. You watch the people dance, you read the menu or ask someone for a menu or even a recommendation. You must take the first step.

Under normal circumstances, you take the first step and slowly get to join in on the fun. You get to know people over time, probably out of interest. But if the people already know you, and saw you get thrown out of the club some other night, or see your face in a collection of people to not admit to the club, it wouldn't be surprising if people don't want to dance with you.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by EvilPinkamina » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:47 am

The reason the "same few people control the flow of conversation" is because there are about 10 or 11 active members in the box at all times, and those are the people that talk in the server. Anyone is free to join and its definitely not some exclusive club.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Nano » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:48 am

Crazo3077 wrote:I'm going to compare joining the server like choosing to go to a dance club, but one that's running 24/7. When you show up to a club, the DJ is already playing music and the people are already dancing or drinking or whatever. Your arrival doesn't need to be met with everyone stopping and greeting you, or walking you through the dances or bar menu. You watch the people dance, you read the menu or ask someone for a menu or even a recommendation. You must take the first step.

Under normal circumstances, you take the first step and slowly get to join in on the fun. You get to know people over time, probably out of interest. But if the people already know you, and saw you get thrown out of the club some other night, or see your face in a collection of people to not admit to the club, it wouldn't be surprising if people don't want to dance with you.
^^^^^^^^
this
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Pumpkinium » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:50 am

i'm not free of ridicule, but here's my two cents.

everyone's afraid to be upfront and everything is vague and sucks, i stopped caring and moved on. everyone here should too. just stop. go do something else.
the discord server is screwed, also. everyone denies they do anything wrong. everything is an argument. everyone thinks they're right.
it's not worth it.

i would try to explain that there are cliques but the people inside the clique are going to deny it, so there's no point.
people who have left the server have things in common, but i doubt anyone will acknowledge what exactly they're doing.
so just go do something else.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:54 am

Since we're going to bring this up then I'll address it and correct where I can.

"but you don't want to acknowledge or improve on the reasons you were banned."

Given that eboy is in the chat I'm not sure what people want me to apologize on, I doubt anyone wants me to change my view on LGBT anymore. If people just want me to say "I'm sorry for the trouble I caused." That came from dropping links and leaving then that I will say sorry for.

"especially if you have a history of blocking the administrators on Discord."

He was trying to contact me again to talk to me and I blocked him, I wound up unblocking him later that night but the damage was already done. Let me correct this here by saying I was having a rather bad moment and I intentionally pushed everyone away and later came down from it. I've been in contact with Nano recently and even played a few matches on OW with him as well.

What I saw as injustice was people expecting me to change my views and ignoring the respect I gave them for quite a while, and now I'm just confused here.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by EvilPinkamina » Sat Aug 12, 2017 1:57 am

Maybe giving people the idea that you don't want to cause trouble instead of bringing every topic that could cause problems onto CI. Letting people know that you regret your behavior instead of attacking everyone on your differences.

Not being a complete wank might make people think that you won't be problematic on the discord server.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Nano » Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:00 am

Pumpkinium wrote:i would try to explain that there are cliques but the people inside the clique are going to deny it, so there's no point.
people who have left the server have things in common, but i doubt anyone will acknowledge what exactly they're doing.
so just go do something else.
This reads like a conspiracy theory. "People are going to disagree with me, but they're just working for the government." Just replace government with clique.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by EvilPinkamina » Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:04 am

The clique is paying them to disagree. Its all a CI conspiracy I tell you.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:04 am

"But don't involve themselves with anyone else's discussions there or here"

I also said this, did I miss a response to it?

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Bunelody » Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:12 am

Considering I'm server owner now I'd let puffle back if he asked but he hasn't soooo

And I discussed inviting triert back if the other members wanted him back but all active members basically said they would rather he didn't so
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:14 am

One more thing, the club analogy is the last thing that should have been used if you didn't want to give the idea people are being exclusive. It boiled down to conforming to what's around you instead of anything else.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Crazo3077 » Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:20 am

Your response, Triert, to the administrator comment makes absolutely no sense because Nano hasn't been the administrator for quite some time. Currently Sable and Bunelody are the administrators.
Triert wrote:What I saw as injustice was people expecting me to change my views and ignoring the respect I gave them for quite a while, and now I'm just confused here.
Respect only works if it is maintained, not just because it exists in the past. All you've indicated since you've been away from the discord is that you want to shake things up. If you want to be respectful in the present, you don't have to change your views, you just need to not push them so hard. I'm a socialist who works in a traditionally conservative and capitalist environment: I read the environment and don't tell everyone to Feel the Bern.

I'd "tl;dr" it as "Don't be eager to offend.", but I'm not sure how you'd side on that idea.
---
Triert wrote:"But don't involve themselves with anyone else's discussions there or here"
I also said this, did I miss a response to it?
It was mostly addressed with the analogy, how you need to take the first step, but otherwise it's just not true. The server is filled with members who regularly post and comment. We're not all Mewtamer, but I mean my comments come pretty close honestly.
---
These breaks are from when I go to post these and then there's a new thing to follow up from. Are you bored or agitated, dude?
Triert wrote:One more thing, the club analogy is the last thing that should have been used if you didn't want to give the idea people are being exclusive. It boiled down to conforming to what's around you instead of anything else.
Unfortunately that club analogy is how online chats have always worked. And it's not about conforming. You could take to the dance floor and try to stand a new dance, but if other people aren't interested in that dance, it isn't because they don't like other dances: they just don't like that dance.

I've tried to start plenty of discussions on the server that don't take off. I don't take it as a personal attack. I tried a new dance, it didn't catch on, so either I keep dancing until someone says something, or I don't do that dance. It's not that complicated.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by chaoadventures » Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:22 am

Nano wrote:
Pumpkinium wrote:something relevant
This reads like a conspiracy theory. "People are going to disagree with me, but they're just working for the government." Just replace government with clique.
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