can we talk about how hostile this site is now

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Triert » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:19 am

I made my point somewhere else but I'll make it here now too. They're acting a lot like I remember they used to back in the Chatbox Discord in mocking someones point by acting in the way they are.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby EvilPinkamina » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:24 am

What point? Have you even brought a point up in like, 4 pages?
Triert wrote:I remember the old days when people would get shaped up by criticism and in turn be a better person.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Triert » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:26 am

I have but certain people are very happy to be outright dismissive towards everyone except they consider their friends.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby EvilPinkamina » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:38 am

Ok, what point have you brought up that was dismissed or ignored?
Triert wrote:I remember the old days when people would get shaped up by criticism and in turn be a better person.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Triert » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:43 am

There was a little point about talking to people outside of your own bubble which might help us all but then now I'm just seeing people mocking that idea.

So I'm wrong, my point wasn't ignored but now people are treating this whole thing like a joke.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby EvilPinkamina » Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:52 am

First of all, the irony lmao.

Second, where'd you say that? I literally just read through the entire thread thinking I missed something and it doesn't appear you said that at all.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Triert » Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:58 am

I said it with "the smug anime girl" but it was still said either way.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby mintdrop » Mon Aug 14, 2017 12:28 pm

i'll agree that the do not interact banners are kind of silly but the idea was that it was mocking people thinking that we're a bubble who doesn't want to interact with anyone, when in reality the discord doesnt really affect the site and anyone can interact with anyone.

this whole topic is an example of people in different "groups" interacting. it's not the fact that some are in the discord and others are not that's causing upset, it's more that people have personal problems with others which are then made public and cause issues. ie eboy, when people were angry with you, it was because you said that you were openly homophobic, and that obviously upset a lot of people.

also, could someone explain what they mean by there being a clique? like with examples preferably, i'm having trouble seeing what people mean (and please don't reply with "if you disagree/don't see it it's because you're in the clique", that's not constructive)
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Triert » Mon Aug 14, 2017 12:50 pm

In a topic started about hostility on the website was collectively mocking people a good idea?

The only true effect I can say the discord has is directing traffic we would have here away and bringing it there instead, you guys do have a lot of utilities there.

Finally, let me try my best. The older more veteran members are more familiar on average and know each other better and understand each other more, that way when the say there aren't any issues here and collectively start to agree with each other you give the impression to others that you're disregarding their complaints and issues together whatever it is that may be.

Homophobia aside, the image reaction topic did cause a splinter that wasn't politically related. We've all moved past that but it's worth mentioning if only to give an example of the awkward relationship between new and old.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby mintdrop » Mon Aug 14, 2017 4:46 pm

"collectively mocking" is a very emotionally charged phrase but i get your point.

the discord isn't a replacement for the website at all. an im group chat isn't going to replace an entire forum bc they're entirely different mediums of communication. people who use the discord are people who don't often post in the forum but still want to interact with people from here. if they don't want to be a part of that - completely fine, no judgement. if they do, then that's also fine, we just ask that they be respectful, not cause drama and at least try to interact with us before then complaining about the discord and saying that it's awful and cliquey.

in terms of people already having pre established relationships and in jokes... that's just how communities are. of course, if you're a newer member, and especially younger, you're going to find it harder to speak with people who are ci "veterans" and are older and have known each other for years. that's just the nature of social interaction. i'm not really sure what the solution to that would be. and if you don't like the discord and you don't like the atmosphere then maybe instead of the discord being awful/wrong etc, maybe it's just not the right environment for you. but i know that i personally and many others will never shun anyone from participating in conversation just because they're new. integration and getting involved with a new group of people takes time.

as for the image reaction topic, veterans and newbies alike were on both sides of the debate. i'm not really sure what you mean there.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Vaporwave » Mon Aug 14, 2017 6:06 pm

This is my own take on the clique claim:

I understand why someone may perceive there being cliques in the Discord, but I'm under the impression that this perception is equating to or surpassing how much of a clique factor was present in the original chatbox which I think at that point is blown out of proportion. There were definite cliques in the original chatbox, but I'm not seeing cliques present in the Discord.

I'm seeing people that are best friends with each other, people that are childhood/teenhood friends, people that are only now becoming friends with each other, people that are friendly associates, or at the very least casually friendly with each other should there be a discussion that's engaging for both parties. I'm not seeing any exclusion or some type of 'cool kids club'. Most folks in the Discord have known each other for well over five years now, so of course there's going to be friendships.

My involvement is that well, I'm not really sure who my friends are but I do just fine in the Discord? Of course there's at the very most a few people that I actively dislike, and maybe some I feel uncomfortable with, but at the end of the day, I get myself into having some fun on there and it's not as though anyone particularly invited me to do so but at the same time never excluded me from doing so. The Discord is what you make of it, is what I'm trying to get at here.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Lamby » Mon Aug 14, 2017 6:22 pm

i fit in fine, and i've only been here since 2012 and don't have nearly the exposure to everyone as everyone else has. but i learned and am friends with every active member now

that's my experience
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Enzo03 » Mon Aug 14, 2017 6:34 pm

****, I forgot which side I'm supposed to bet money on.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Pufflehugs » Mon Aug 14, 2017 6:51 pm

Triert wrote:mad over the dinner table joke

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Triert, your entire argument is valid because you're mad about being at the kids table. You see, there's a very good reason why that entire point is invalid: it's joke. Look at me, I was at the kids table too, and I understand the primary principle.
Your entire argument is basically: "there's a clique because I said it's a clique, despite there being absolutely no evidence that can't be dismissed as friends just being friends"
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Triert » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:05 pm

"Okay fine, we don't have to use the dirty word known as clique. We can call it a divide between older members and newer members."

I understand the joke too, but if we want to act like hypocrites then we shouldn't expect this website to get any better anytime soon.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Pufflehugs » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:07 pm

Triert, why are you always so mad? You're pretty much singlehandedly proving this topic's title.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Triert » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:12 pm

I don't want to take all the credit

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Pufflehugs » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:13 pm

Triert I'm sorry Retro made me do it :cry:
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby retrolinkx » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:19 pm

Yeah, and Nano made me tell Puffle to do it.

Ban Nano!!!!! :stomp: :stomp:
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Pufflehugs » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:21 pm

Top 10 anime plot twists
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby eblu » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:22 pm

you ever see some work go on hiatus and then its fanbase slowly descends into madness
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Triert » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:25 pm

But I told Nano to tell Retro to-
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Nano » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:26 pm

See guys, we can all have fun here.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Triert » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:27 pm

It'll be fun until we all wind up in a deathmatch game on OW next month.

Then we'll be right back here.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Postby Pumpkinium » Mon Aug 14, 2017 8:54 pm

alright i changed my mind on the clique thing. clique isn't the best word and also not effectively portraying what i want to describe when i think of the discord and 'groups.'

what i want to explain is something that can be trivial, i don't expect anyone to share my view, i don't expect anyone to relate, what i won't expect and will hope for is that you try to soak up what i'm about to say SERIOUSLY and not shrug it off like i'm crazy or stupid.

when i try to say clique, what i'm trying to explain is the group mindset of a large portion of active users in the discord that speak their mind the most often. that group has individual people with their individual lives and such, of course. but when i think of these people as a group, i think of a lot of bad interactions. some might be my fault, some might be theirs. these things are so subtle that i believe no one tries to acknowledge it.

when i think about this group, i think about the people who have said stuff behind my back that isn't worth saying (being referred to as uni improperly and called annoying in one sentence.) or should've been handled with directly to me (saying i've been a jackass to people.) i think about people who have said stuff to me as if what they say is the word of law (i have to invest in a binder because i'm a transboy.) i think about people who say stuff to me because their definition of what's socially acceptable doesn't align with mine, and therefor mine is to be judged because it doesn't align with theirs (i shouldn't be changing my real life name to something that sounds like a poison/animal/'stupid'/etc.)

i think of a group of people that are too obsessed with themselves and their friends that share similar opinions to the point at which they'd rather drive people away instead of fix a problem that has absolutely no drawbacks on account of defending what THEY find comfortable and not stopping to care if it makes someone else uncomfortable, no matter what their background is, and saying they 'can't accommodate for everyone.' (asking someone to stop using the tr*p slur, which is at absolutely no loss to the person using it.)

i think of a group of people that, at this point, have destroyed any desire for me to wish to speak in front of about things i find important to me because whenever i do, i get greeted with nasty opinions, jokes to throw away whatever i said on account of the joke, and the classic dogpiling the majority of this group mindset loves to participate in to the point at which the chat moves too fast to be able to construct any kind of thoughtful response in a timely manner.

yes, i'm guilty of doing things too. i'm guilty of showing my constant disdain with anime, i'm guilty of toxic behaviors that i'm working on trying to fix, i'm guilty of being obviously snooty to people i don't like.

but this group of people i speak of is something the word clique can sometimes be used for, because when i think of this 'clique', i think of a group of people that i'm not welcome in. i expect everything i say to get some kind of argument or negative response because i KNOW everyone in the group always has something to say about me because i'm not meeting their unnecessary expectations of what a person should be like. i'm a transboy that wants to be called vulture and i'm a system of 5 distinct souls of demons and dragons alike having a good time. no one wants to take me seriously because they're too busy worrying about how stupid and fake my decisions are instead of just going 'oh hey that's cool.' because i have a history of getting in fights and then removing myself from them because i can no longer find the words to explain what's important to me.

it may or may not be my fault these things happen, but no one has the guts to come to me, personally, and tell me if they really believe something i'm doing is wrong. i invite anyone to, but the only people, hell, person that really ever tried is one of the admins of that server. i don't know if they're scared, they think they're at fault for what their problem with me is or what. i don't really care now because i'm out of your hair.

so, defend yourself all you want, but none of us are really innocent on any side of this whole issue.
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