can we talk about how hostile this site is now

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Yukki 2.0 » Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:09 am

Why can't we all just sit down and have some tea and calm down sheesh
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Tue Aug 15, 2017 12:57 pm

Let it run it's course and let everyone get it all out or else we'll be stuck with lingering resentment otherwise is how I feel this should be handled.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Crazo3077 » Tue Aug 15, 2017 3:07 pm

So I've been offline since a few hours after my latest post to this topic, and I'm glad I was away because I am kinda glad to see what I half-seriously feel like calling the "Pumpkinium Saga". The use of "image not available" in my dinner table joke was referring to Pumpkinium, and this is why: Pumpkinium has a serious concern and is eager to talk about it in a serious manner.

Rather than just desperately trying to make the funnies in the middle of a discussion.

Or accuse the entire discord for my individual choice to make a joke.

--

I'm also glad to see more quiet voices popping in here. It confirms something we've speculated: how many people are just reading? That's why I always think about. It makes me think about how wider the observations and discussions might be going. Who knows if there's an even deeper, more secret collective of users who gather, but don't ruffle any feathers, so no one speculates on whether or not they're talking about everyone behind their backs? (Honestly I'd have to be really dumb to think that's true. lol)

I'm going to stick to my guns on this, despite how painful it is to give him attention: Triert's contributions after Nano and I stopped addressing him directly have served nothing but to try to incite more fighting. This is evidenced by when P-System, Pinka, and Minty engaged in a discussion, and ignored Triert's silly add-on comments, the discussion actually happened. Even before then, Pinka and Minty steered Triert into actually discussing what his issue was, but Minty boiled it down best:

viewtopic.php?f=11&t=48524&start=125#p1618196
mintdrop wrote:in terms of people already having pre established relationships and in jokes... that's just how communities are. of course, if you're a newer member, and especially younger, you're going to find it harder to speak with people who are ci "veterans" and are older and have known each other for years. that's just the nature of social interaction.
This was after revealing that one of Triert's points was ignored because he used a "smug anime girl" image with it. Almost like using image reactions is a deterrent in taking discussions seriously.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:23 pm

Give it up for the eighth page everyone, where the vets still refuse to admit eboy was right about them.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Pufflehugs » Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:47 pm

"The vets are the problem"
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:50 pm

I've been waiting for someone to use that image.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Pufflehugs » Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:53 pm

To be fair it wasn't exactly my idea
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:54 pm

want to join my secret spy ring?

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Pufflehugs » Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:55 pm

Yes please
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:57 pm

Wonderful, now I can get todd's newest images.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Pufflehugs » Tue Aug 15, 2017 5:24 pm

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Bunelody » Tue Aug 15, 2017 5:25 pm

If you want Todd pics hmu I'm always ready to share my son
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by eblu » Tue Aug 15, 2017 5:56 pm

you guys are missing the point and are detailing this topic into something that just proves that point

all of you are arguing over petty things and not the general aspect i presented to you, which is (i may not have made this clear and if i didn't i apologize) the fact that just about every discussion here now ends in an argument and an inevitable lock, with random insults and off-topic jokes being thrown everywhere.

pufflehugs, bunelody, i implore you to actually contribute to this topic seeing as how we're not in FG&C and just posting random images isn't going to help anyone

triert, i know you're trying but less jokes, more talk
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Triert » Tue Aug 15, 2017 5:59 pm

I thought the jokes were working towards bridging and mending the gaps.

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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Bunelody » Tue Aug 15, 2017 6:00 pm

Yknow I tried contributing butnit turned into a personal argument so I told myself I wasn't gonna post in this topic anymore but triert mentioned Todd so I gotta answer.

Anyways I'm bowing out of this topic again
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by EvilPinkamina » Tue Aug 15, 2017 7:58 pm

Triert, if you have an actual problem, say it instead of screeching about how "REEEE THE VETS R TEH BAD GAIZ I TOLD UUUUU" w/ your 2009 ass join date being older on this site than most of the people you complaining about.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Pumpkinium » Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:07 pm

the topic is devolving and apparently all focus is on me and jokes and whatnot regarding the name thing.

i want to reiterate based on what minty said because it isn't making sense. the name thing is the lesser of everything that has happened in that server, and is very small compared to whatever other qualms i have.

"honestly i think you lost all right to complain about it being taken as a joke when you asked for advice for something extremely personal in the most active channel of the discord."

as stated multiple times in response to pinka, i never said i was complaining about the jokes, i was participating in them. pinka has been insisting my comment 'can be taken as a joke' when, basically, it wasn't. that's the end of that.

"not to mention that you rejected baby name websites and instead were asking for a word dump on the most popular part of the server."

that was my exact intention for what to happen. i didn't want a baby name website and i wanted many people to just throw words at me.

"if it was in chao doctor or dark garden the situation would've evolved differently, but the fact that you posted it in the main channel, with no prior names chosen to show us your preferences, and with you reacting positively to names like "vermin", made it difficult for people to talk you seriously. not to mention that you didn't ask people to stop, at all."

that's because i didn't need it to be that serious. i got a word dump and i didn't mind the jokes because it was something i didn't mind joking about.


this is the least of my concerns which i have already voiced regarding this particular instance and i'm not sure why everyone's focusing on the semantics of this one small situation when there's bigger problems at hand.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Pufflehugs » Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:11 pm

Pumpkinium wrote:"not to mention that you rejected baby name websites and instead were asking for a word dump on the most popular part of the server."

that was my exact intention for what to happen. i didn't want a baby name website and i wanted many people to just throw words at me.
Kinda a problem TBH
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by EvilPinkamina » Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:13 pm

Ok pump, what is your problem w/ the server? Because every time someone talks about the problem you have, you just respond with "no i was actually ok with that, there are bigger problems at hand" like ok talk about the bigger problems then.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Bunelody » Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:42 pm

If you wanna discuss the problems with the discord privately I think that'd be best rather than continuing on in This topic.

The topic is about the site itself being hostile so I'd rather not detract from the original post and intentions on the topic. My pms are open and you know my discord so don't be afraid to talk to me if you'd like. :darksway:
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Nano » Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:51 pm

It's funny cause I completely disagree that this topic is offtopic in any way at all. Maybe the jokes and stuff, yeah obviously, but as for content... this is why people are thinking the site is hostile. Cause people have problems with people and refuse to talk about them. This topic has so far let everyone air out their issues and talk them out with people. It's neato.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Bunelody » Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:57 pm

I have no problem letting it be discussed here but eboy said it was offtopic.

I mean if people wanna keep going, go for it lol

I just thought I'd give an alternative in case pumpkinium was uncomfy letting it out publicly
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by Pumpkinium » Tue Aug 15, 2017 9:16 pm

i'll keep talking about my things then here, publically, since fox admitted it's kinda what we're supposed to be doing. i can't think of anything i'd dm someone for individually, but invite anyone to dm me instead if they're noticing a pattern or problem i guess? but i guess that isn't helpful since i don't know who to dm about what when i feel like it's more of a group thing.
Pufflehugs wrote: Kinda a problem TBH
huh? elaborate.
EvilPinkamina wrote:Ok pump, what is your problem w/ the server? Because every time someone talks about the problem you have, you just respond with "no i was actually ok with that, there are bigger problems at hand" like ok talk about the bigger problems then.
well, i thought i went over it in my first really big paragraph post, but i'll try to summarize it and build upon it a bit better. i'm not my greatest with words, so forgive me if i can't elaborate my best.

i always feel a sense of not-belonging whenever i'm in the server. always. the environment makes me feel like i'm afraid to screw something up or talk about something that feels important to me. i do get upset when me and someone don't see eye to eye over a subject, but instead of feeling like 'hey, maybe i can get more information on this topic if we're not agreeing.' it feels more like a competition to debate and see who wants to give up first. i don't know if that's just my personal interpretation of things, but i see often that people say i act offensive and abrasive, but that's how.. everyone acts to me too? i understand i'm guilty for being a whiny angry ******* often but i can't help but wonder, have i always been like that, or have the people around me made me feel like i need to be defensive all the time?

which, i've seen people say i shouldn't be pinning my problems on others and i understand, i have problems myself too, but i still greatly insist all of you just reevaluate yourselves because you never know who could be causing what. someone like pinka should think about stuff like just flat out calling me stupid for having interest in a fictional name. it's not really harming anyone, you don't really have to speak your mind about stuff like that if you're just gonna call it stupid y'know? just keep that stuff to yourself. think about your interactions with others, try to gauge better if someone is having a problem. like when i'm talking about stuff i find important, people always say 'well you're just getting offended because tumblr xd' but like, it's not like i know any better? try to just be a little more gentle because someone can be talking about something and it might sound really backwards but you gotta sit and think 'well maybe they don't understand' and politely tell them hey are you aware of what exactly you're talking about?

someone might think i'm being hypocritical, i'm guilty of not following all the stuff i'm saying here, but it's what i think the right thing to do is, and it's alright to make mistakes about stuff like that. i just feel like the server has always been a place where no one really lets mistakes slide and doesn't encourage getting better and would rather try and dig up receipts instead of trying to think 'well maybe they're changed their mind about that kind of behavior.' or something like that.

although, while stuff like this is important to think about, i don't think, even if some people try to better themselves and be more aware, i'll ever feel welcome because not everyone is really going to change.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by EvilPinkamina » Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:08 pm

Pumpkinium wrote:i always feel a sense of not-belonging whenever i'm in the server. always. the environment makes me feel like i'm afraid to screw something up or talk about something that feels important to me. i do get upset when me and someone don't see eye to eye over a subject, but instead of feeling like 'hey, maybe i can get more information on this topic if we're not agreeing.' it feels more like a competition to debate and see who wants to give up first. ...

...think about your interactions with others, try to gauge better if someone is having a problem. like when i'm talking about stuff i find important, people always say 'well you're just getting offended because tumblr xd' but like, it's not like i know any better? try to just be a little more gentle because someone can be talking about something and it might sound really backwards but you gotta sit and think 'well maybe they don't understand' and politely tell them hey are you aware of what exactly you're talking about
This point I flat out cannot understand. The reason people want to debate your points is because you take such inflexible stances. Looking back to to the Dream Daddy situation, this is the strict stance you took, claiming that it was your opinion.
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But when people pressed you on this, you just replied "oh idk it rubs me the wrong way." Of course people are going to think you're following the tumblr bandwagon. You take hard stances on soft issues and then can't back up anything you're saying. If you take a hard stance, people aren't going to think "well maybe they don't understand." If you don't understand something, don't take a stance.
Pumpkinium wrote:someone might think i'm being hypocritical, i'm guilty of not following all the stuff i'm saying here, but it's what i think the right thing to do is, and it's alright to make mistakes about stuff like that. i just feel like the server has always been a place where no one really lets mistakes slide and doesn't encourage getting better and would rather try and dig up receipts instead of trying to think 'well maybe they're changed their mind about that kind of behavior.' or something like that.
The reason I pulled screenshots is to show you how you behave. These aren't screenshots from a long time ago where you've aged and matured. These are screenshots from not even a month ago, and since then you've only complained about other people's behavior. Dream Daddy Drama? July 28th. Trap drama? July 31st. Name joking? Also July 31st. Your entire post is claiming that because these people aren't picking up your slack and treating you differently, its the fault of the server and not on yourself. Shifting blame for your behavior isn't healthy.
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Re: can we talk about how hostile this site is now

Post by eblu » Wed Aug 16, 2017 12:39 am

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hi, uh, it's mr. stop derailing the thread again. i hate to repeat myself but can you please stop derailing the thread? i made this to talk about the general feelings of hostility in the community in general and what we could possibly eventually do so that things aren't so bitter. i hate to call out other users but pinka, not only are you trying to stir up more controversy by shooting down pumpkinium due to whatever they said in the past but you're contributing to the problem at hand that i'm trying to dissipate.
you see, you might really want to get an edge over your little friend here by stating what a moron they are, but have you ever considered the fact that that's another thing for another time? if you must talk about why people debate a specific person's points i'd recommend keeping it to another topic instead of letting things get out of hand. if people want to state how they feel, then let them state how they feel.

now that i've got that out of the way, i'd like to say that i agree a lot with what i understood from pumpkinium's points. while i do know that people don't regard me in this way, i constantly feel lesser than others on CI. again, it seems a lot of things happen that tend to go over my head (e.g. the dr. frog forced meme and whatever that "swubbuhs" thing from a while back was) and i've done quite a lot that inadvertently offends people (like the LGBTQ+ fiasco from a while back). i'm wondering if the tension that's causing every thread to derail into an argument is caused by a sort of perceived elitism from certain users that just makes people hold a grudge. don't take this like it's the one thing that solves everything but i'm thinking that it's a major lead.
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