Marth's Grab Range

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Pufflehugs
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Marth's Grab Range

Post by Pufflehugs »

I mean really, Marth's grab range is unfair. I always go to tournaments and say this, but people are always like "No Johns".
If I'm all up in Marth's face and I get grabbed, okay that's fine. I deserve it.
If I'm a little further away from Marth and I get grabbed, kinda dumb but whatever.
But if I'm halfway across the stage and Marth grabs me, that's dumb.
If I'm all the way on the other side of the stage Marth shouldn't be able to grab me, but he still can. That ain't Johns, that's bull.
If I'm playing Melee on another Gamecube and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm playing Melee on a Wii and Marth is on a Gamecube and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm emulating Melee and Marth is on a Gamecube and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm playing Smash 4 and Marth is in Melee and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm playing Brawl and Marth is in Melee and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm playing Smash 64 and Marth is in Melee and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm playing Playstation All Stars Battle Royale and Marth is in Melee and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm playing Pokemon Stadium and Marth is in Melee and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm playing Smash on the other side of the planet and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm playing Smash on Planet Namek and Marth is still on Earth and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm playing Smash in a different timeline and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm playing Smash in a different universe and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm playing Smash in a different multiverse and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.
If I'm not even playing and Marth grabs me, that ain't Johns.

In closing:
That ain't Johns.
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chaoadventures
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Re: Marth's Grab Range

Post by chaoadventures »

But that's okay. ...Said every other Melee player.
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Mamkute
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Re: Marth's Grab Range

Post by Mamkute »

Marth is king of an entire continent. He can grab you no matter where you are. You ever hear of a guy named Medeus? Scary giant dragon?
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People commonly say Marth killed him with his special dragon-killing sword.
Nope. Grabbed his face.


Marth brings his amazing heirloom sword to Smash to give everyone else a fair fight against his grabs.
He doesn't promote like most lords, because he doesn't need a new weapon class.
His ancestor Anri had to travel through icy mountains to get the Falchion sword. Marth just grabbed it from his home, across the continent. It made for a short video game.
Lucina traveled back in time because Marth grabbed her, and then threw her forward to the Awakening time period.
Marth doesn't walk up to enemies to recruit them, they get grabbed towards him.
The reason why the Plegia continent is connected to the mainland in Awakening, but the Dohlr continent is not in Shadow Dragon is because King Marth decided to grab the island over a few miles.
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Jeffery Mewtamer
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Re: Marth's Grab Range

Post by Jeffery Mewtamer »

It's been years since I played Melee, but I don't remember anyone other than Samus and Link being able to grab at range.

Besides, I always preferred Roy.

And is johns in this context some weird slang from Puffle's part of the world? Because I've never heard it used in this context before.
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Re: Marth's Grab Range

Post by Rajikaru »

Jeffery Mewtamer wrote: And is johns in this context some weird slang from Puffle's part of the world? Because I've never heard it used in this context before.
"No Johns" is a common term used in the competitive fighting game scene, primarily by Smash Bros Melee/Project M/Sm4sh players. It essentially means to not complain about outside forces impacting your play and/or causing you to lose, such as input lag, having a bad controller, being distracted, et c. The term is "No Johns" because it was popularized by a Melee (I think, may have been PM or Brawl) competitive player that went by Jon pretty much always complaining about things like controllers whenever he lost.

That being said I highly doubt Puffle even plays competitive smash and just stole this joke from a recent post floating around Facebook where Melee Marth's grab has a longer grab range than Melee Yoshi.
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Pufflehugs
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Re: Marth's Grab Range

Post by Pufflehugs »

I don't even use Facebook.
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Re: Marth's Grab Range

Post by Rajikaru »

There are other outlets for videos and injokes besides facebook.
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