The story of Pebbles the chao

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kantu
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The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by kantu »

This is a story of Pebbles. I will need permission from some people to use their chao in this story.

Prologue
Spoiler:
"Go!" He screamed "Run!"

He nodded as he ran, grabbing the egg. He was almost out before he felt a sharp pain in his back he looked back, his eyes opening in horror. There, in his back was a spear! He had completely forgotten about the guards at the door. He ran into the lobby, his back throbbing with pain. Several more spears chasing him as he approached the neutral garden. "Sonic!" He exclaimed "Here's and egg. It's mom is dead and its dad almost is... Huff... Puff... Sonic..."


The world went dark around him as an orange cocoon formed around him
Chapter 1

Spoiler:
It was getting cramped. He couldn't do anything about the inevitable. He would have to go out sooner or later. He looked at the deep blue eggshell. It was nice, in here. He didn't want to leave. Then, he heard a crack. His eyes opened in realization. He gulped. He made some sort of baby sound. He came out and was imediently hit by the blinding light of this place. The checkered ground kinda creeped him out. He looked at a sign: Green Hill Zone, it read. He wondered what the heck that meant. He saw another sign next to a creek. It read: Pebbles Creek He smiled. He liked that word. Pebbles. It had a nice ring to it. He would call himself that. He smiled. Then, he noticed a strange thing on the ground

It was a footprint. He saw more of them. He chased after them, giggling in a childish manner. He didn't want to leave his eggshell, but these footprints were his only clue.

He followed the footprints a little longer until there was a strange difference. The was a body print. And a second set of footprints. The one seemed to carry the other one off. He shuddered in relization. A murder! Pebbles thought.
Last edited by kantu on Tue Jul 02, 2013 9:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by The Ice Maiden »

It's pretty good! Is this your first story...?

Anyway, I can give you some tips if you need any :3
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by kantu »

I was actuall the author of a book, I told my brother to make 3 copies of it, so, he went in the home office and stuck it in the paper shredder, thinking it was the photocopier


And I'd love some tips!
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by The Ice Maiden »

X3~ Okie doke!
It's gonna be critical x3

I hardly know what's going on here. Could it be someone abandoned something, or is someone dying? Who is attacking? Why does Sonic have anything to do with the story? Just some pointers on how to detail your story a little :3 that's all I have for now. Other than that, this is a well written story in my opinion!
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by kantu »

Its supposed to be mysterious. The rest will be revealed later
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

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Oh! in that case, well done.
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by kantu »

Thanks!
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by The Ice Maiden »

:3~ no problemo me amigo.
Also, if you don't mind, I need people to read a story of mine x3. It's in my Sig.
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by kantu »

Already did! It's baws compared to mine!
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

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aww thankies ^^ yours is super awesome too, though.

((I stole my avatar from the icons :o))
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by kantu »

Chapter 1


It was getting cramped. He couldn't do anything about the inevitable. He would have to go out sooner or later. He looked at the deep blue eggshell. It was nice, in here. He didn't want to leave. Then, he heard a crack. His eyes opened in realization. He gulped. He made some sort of baby sound. He came out and was imediently hit by the blinding light of this place. The checkered ground kinda creeped him out. He looked at a sign: Green Hill Zone, it read. He wondered what the heck that meant. He saw another sign next to a creek. It read: Pebbles
Creek
. Pebbles Creek. He liked that word. Pebbles. He decided he would call himself Pebbles. It had a nice ring to it. He smiled. Then, he noticed a strange thing on the ground

It was a footprint. He saw more of them. He chased after them, giggling in a childish manner. He didn't want to leave his eggshell, but these footprints were his only clue.

He followed the footprints a little longer until there was a strange difference. The was a body print. And a second set of footprints. The one seemed to carry the other one off. He shuddered in relization. A murder! Pebbles thought.
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by The Ice Maiden »

GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by kantu »

X3
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

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Murderer. Ooooooohhhh *shudders*
Good job, chap.
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by kantu »

Thx. Won't be on for awhile. Going to NY tomorrow for a week. I'll be on when I can. But, probably no more chapters, though. :p
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by Snowy »

To what part of NY?
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

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*sobs*

NY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've always wanted to go there...
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by Snowy »

I live there.
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by kantu »

Da city^
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by Snowy »

Phew! I won't see you. I don't like meeting people from the internet in real life. It's awkward.
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by kantu »

^ Yeah! Plus, then I would hate on you in real life. And I'd doubt you'd recognize me. But, if you see some blond kid that's the size of a rat and most likely has a 3DS or iPod in his hands, that's me.
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by The Ice Maiden »

Blond?
I didn't know you were blonde!
I am too xD almost always have a phone in hand or around me.
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by kantu »

And I'm Extremely short, some kids think I'm in second grade when I'm really in middle school!
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by The Ice Maiden »

Whoaz.
That's funny....xD
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Re: The story of Pebbles the chao

Post by SilverRabbit »

Awesome!, please carry on :D
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