Horror Quest: The Mysterious Mysteries of Lozenge (Rewrite)

[Lamby]

Starmy and I came up with an idea yesterday. This is the result. It is still young and taking form, but I think it could become something. First part is a little rough.

Presenting...

HORROR QUEST: THE MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES OF LOZENGE AND FOUNTAIN PEN JONES

Starring… Ali “Starmy” Lozenge and Brandon “Batty” Fountain-Pen Jones


There is a sleepy little hollow where a sleepy little town sleeps, a quaint little burg in the middle of nowhere that everyone wants to visit, but no one wants to leave. Darfur is home to Todd’s Circus and the Carnival of Dreams, novelty shops, and friendly locals, but is never seen on a map, and it goes unmarked, because this is a town that goes bump in the dark.

Chapter One - Part 1: A Sour Wind Blows

My name is Ali Lozenge, private eye and mystery solving extraordinaire, but my friends call me Starmy, maybe because I like to look up at the stars after a job well done, or maybe because I’m just cute. My job is pretty typical for this line of work—you find someone, find someone’s money, or find someone’s floozy—and every mystery can be explained by some combination of the three. At least, my job used to be that typical. I’ve always considered myself a forward moving kind of girl: I don’t believe in curses, spells, the undead, or any of that; what matters is the puzzle, and when you piece that puzzle together together, things work out. But ever since my partner and I blew into this crazy town, all of my rules have been broken. I could tell you things you would never believe. My partner and I will probably take the unexplained things that happen here to our graves—unless we pass our stories on. I’ll start from the beginning, but I warn you, screaming mimis are definitely incoming.

***

We had been driving for hours down a lonely road when I finally broke the silence. “We’re lost. Pretty sure there’s no way around it.” I irritability blew my bangs out of my face, glancing up at the rearview mirror; I didn’t look too bad for a girl out in this humid country weather with a spastic hairdo, but I could see myself preferring a less exacerbated look. My red button-up “Carmen Sandiego” coat was about the only color I could make out in the moonlit dark; well, that and my friend’s lilac tie gleaming from the dim light of the GPS. “Once we took that fork in the road twenty miles ago, it’s like the map went blank. I’m starting to wonder if someone is trying to kill us instead of meet us,” I said, smiling wryly. “Check the letter again.”

“On it,” he said, digging through my dashboard and retrieving the hand written note we received days ago. His name is Brandon Fountain-Pen Jones, but I’ve always called him Batty, if only because of his fixation with the animal and his quirky swiftness to draw supernatural conclusions. I watched my spiffily suited buddy sigh and rub his temples. That didn’t bode well. You could best describe him with a woobie geek stereotype, and when he looked frustrated, it usually meant we were in deep… well, you get the idea. “There aren’t any directions.” I snickered.

“Come on. Fess up, Jones,” I said, giving him a teasing glance. “Put on your glasses.”

“Ali, there aren’t any directions,” he pressed me, sounding alarmed as he turned the letter around in every possible direction. “You aren’t going to believe this, but it’s blank!” I jammed on the breaks, snatching the paper and gluing my eyes to its surface. Nothing was written. I couldn’t believe it. I distinctly remembered an eloquent message commending me for my talents and requesting that I share them with the town of Darfur.

“I don’t…” I stammered, absolutely stunned. He began to laugh, offering a smile. I gave him a shifty look and punched his arm. “Would you be professional?” He laughed again and pulled out the actual letter.”

“Drive until you see the sign then make a right turn, my dear Holmes.”

“Up your butt, my dear Watson.”

***

We seemed to drive fifty more miles at least. By this time, clouds had drifted in front of the moon and our only source of light was our high beams. Playing I Spy got old ages ago so we had moved on to a much more important subject: dinner.

“There better be a banquet waiting for us after all this driving,” I muttered.

“Ali, look, the sign,” he urged me, shaking my shoulder. I made a quick right turn. Sure enough, a sign loomed just ahead in all its backwoods glory. Welcome to Darfur, it said, a gruesomely cheery clown presenting the words with outstretched arms and twisted grin. I couldn’t bring myself to be relieved to see a sign like that. Batty didn’t look very thrilled either.

“Well this road just permeates security,” he said, locking the doors.

“Creepy sign is all. Bet you it took one seriously depressed person to draw that thing.”

“I have a really sour vibe.”

“Could be the crops. You know, you’re probably thinking of some movie like Children of the Corn.” He patted my hand.

“You know, I always admire your detective’s intuition. But, come on. That sign is pretty far away from this Darfur place. What do you really think?” I blew air from my mouth.

“Oh… well… Alright, something feels off. But a job is a job. If it isn’t something up our alley, I’ll figure it out quickly and then we’ll go.”

“Look out!”

I gasped and swerved to the side, catapulting our car straight into a ditch, flipping us on top of each other flat out into the backseat. We glanced at each other with our hearts in our throats.

“Was that… a person?” I panted. Something scampered past the back window and scraped against the bumper.

[PinkIceFox]

Clowns.

The one thing that makes a 'welcome' sign even creepier.

SILENT HILL.

You know what must be done.

Nice job honey~ can't wait to read more!

[Starmy]

yes
yes
it begins
i am so excited this is great