Gatsobatso - Pilot Episode

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Gatsobatso - Pilot Episode

Postby Nano » Wed Jun 08, 2016 7:56 am

I apologize for the formatting, it might be a bit tough to read. It's here though! Gatsobatso's pilot episode that started the commotion in Japan.

Episode 1: New kid on the Port!

Spoiler:
*Insert opening theme*

Protag Boy awoke from his deep slumber to the sound of a ship of some sort giving a deep honk. He grinned, knowing exactly what day it was. Leaping out of bed, he quickly hit the snooze on his alarm clock, ending the ship sounds, and rushed to his wall. This month’s mermaid was a pretty looking one, green hair with lovely eyes, but even more important than that was the date marked in red and circled at least ten times.

“Finally! The first day of middle school at Atlantis University!” he exclaimed, leaping into the air. It had been a tough summer, being that he moved here during the summer with no friends, but he knew he would get along just fine with everyone at his new school. After all, he was the protagonist!

Before anything though, he had to make sure he was presentable for his new classmates. He walked to the bathroom and began the ritual of a quick shower, brushing his teeth, and placing a bandage on his cheek. After he was done, he looked into the mirror to admire himself. Protag Boy had to admit, he looked very good today. His brown hair had formed into a nice, but messy, shape on his head. His bandage on his right cheek was on place nice and firm on his beautiful round face.

Giving the mirror one last grin, he sprinted downstairs and sat at the dinner table. Protag Mom turned towards him from in the kitchen and smiled. “You look excited today! I’m glad that you’ll be getting out of the house after being cooped in here for so long,” she said, putting some finishing touches on breakfast, “here you go!”

A steaming hot plate of eggs, waffles, and bacon was set in front of Protag Boy, who happily munched away while being careful as to not stain his black school uniform. “Mom! This is delicious!” he shouted through mouthfuls.

Protag Mom smiled and shook her head and laughed. “Don’t talk with your mouth full silly! Do you need a ride to the port?” she asked, turning her attention back to the kitchen.

“I don’t think so, I’ve already looked over everything pretty thoroughly,” Protag Boy took another bite of his waffle, “Thanks though!” He finished the rest of his breakfast and got his school bag. “Alright I’m heading to school! See ya mom!”

His mom quickly blocked him from leaving the house. “Excuse me mister, I think you’re forgetting something,” she smiled.

“Oh of course!” Protag Boy gave his mom a quick kiss and she moved aside to let him pass. “Love you mom!” he said, putting a piece of bread in his mouth and running towards the port.

“Have a nice first day honey!” she called after him, smiling. Her brown hair swayed in the breeze and she closed her eyes, inhaling the morning air. It was going to be a good year for him.

Quickly, Protag Boy made his way towards the port. He could already smell the sea salt in the morning air, and it seemed like it was going to be really sunny today. Even though he didn’t need to be there for another 20 mins, he was hoping to meet some people before they arrived at school. What would they be like? he wondered. Atlantis University was no ordinary middle school, it was an exclusive private school that he barely got into. He didn’t have the best grades, but he had a lot of heart and they seemed to really appreciate that.

The port was just around the corner, and he couldn’t wait to see what was waiting for him. He turned and saw… absolutely nobody. A frown was quick to appear on his face, but it was to be expected. He was awfully early, no reason for anyone to really be around just yet. He sighed and sat down on the bench. It was damp with sea salt, but he didn’t mind too much. Protag Boy sat with his hands under his chin and waited.

Time passed, and a few minutes later he saw a young boy round the corner. His face lit up and he stood to greet him. His hair was black, and fairly similar to his own. Something about him screamed not safe for work, but he couldn’t figure out why. The boy stopped and examined Protag Boy for a moment. “I haven’t seen you before, are you new here?” he asked, tilting his head.

“I moved in during the summer. My name is Protag Boy, I’m pleased to meet you!” he put his hand out for a handshake. The boy looked at it, back at Protag, and then back to the hand.

“Same here!” he finally said, grabbing Protag Boy’s hand, “My name is Supporting Character #1! You can call me Support Guy if you want though.” Support Guy glanced around for a moment and grinned. “Any moment now, Support Character #2 will be here. She’s super attractive! Like, way past hot!” he exclaimed, pulling out his camera, “That’s why I’ve been studying the waves lately. In exactly 20 seconds, a breeze will blow through that will lift up her skirt as she rounds the corner. It’s going to be amazing!”

Ah, he’s a pervert. That’s why. Protag Boy shrugged, even if he was a pervert he didn’t seem inherently bad.

Support Guy rushed to the corner and laid on his back, pressing the viewfinder against his eye. At that moment, Protag noticed someone about to come around the corner. He was unsure about what to do, so he just waited. A girl with long blue hair walked around and immediately noticed Protag Boy. “Huh, I don’t recognize-” she began, but was stopped when a gust of wind came by. The wind lifted her skirt up, and it was at that moment she noticed the boy under her. She hurried to push the dress down, but he snapped a picture.

He stood up and jumped for joy. “I did it! I got a picture of her panties!” Support Guy turned and immediately stopped celebrating. Everything got quiet. Protag Boy could see the faintest trace of fire in the girl’s eyes. Support Guy took a step back, then another.

In an instant, the girl grabbed his shoulder. Her hair began to float and a red aura surrounded her body. Red eyes pierced under the shadow that covered her eyes. Protag Boy couldn’t see Support Character #1’s face, but could sense his fear. It was as if death himself had appeared inside the blue haired girl. She reeled her head back and smashed Support Guy’s face with an impact that Protag Boy could feel in his bones.

Support Guy stumbled backwards, his camera still in hand. He looked back towards Protag and smiled. "We all die young," It looked like he was trying to say. Yet, we both knew his face could no longer move after a blow like that.
Protag Boy nodded, a single tear forming in his eyes. It was a short lived friendship, but one he’ll never forget. As Support Guy hit the floor, his camera busted in half. Protag looked at the blue haired girl and waited for what came next.
In an instant, she was calm again and walked towards Protag. “Don’t worry about that BAKA, he’ll be fine,” she said, brushing herself off, “Who are you?”

He glanced behind her and saw the motionless body of Support Guy in the background. Hopefully she was right. “My name is Protag Boy, it’s very nice to meet you,” he replied, extending his hand and offering a warm smile.

She gripped it hard and smiled back. “Supporting Character #2, but you can call me Support Gal.” Protag Boy couldn’t tell, but Support Gal was about to have a heart attack. He’s so cute! She was thinking to herself, I hope I didn’t make a bad impression! She seemed to have completely ignored the fact he knew Support Guy was there and had said nothing.

Protag Boy shook his hand a bit, the pain a little more than he could handle. “Haha, is there anyone else coming- WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!” Protag Boy cried, pointing at a huge explosion of concrete and asphalt approaching them. It seemed that a giant submarine had plowed its way through 16 city blocks and made a stop at the port.

Support Gal gave a long, irritated sigh. “Oh great, it’s the Antag gang…”

Two figures stood at the end of the submarine, arms crossed. There was also a third one, but they seemed to be in the shadows so it was incredibly difficult to tell they were even there. The main figures jumped off and landed near Protag Boy with a massive crash, with the third slowly climbing off. Protag Boy stood in awe at the two. One was a pretty girl with white hair in two long pigtails wrapped in red bows. “S-Sugoi…” Protag whispered.

The other one was a massive man with long red hair and a set of wings. One wing was angelic, the other demonic. “EHH? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT MY SIS PAL?” he bellowed, grabbing Protag by the collar and lifting him at least 4 feet in the air.

Squirming, Protag Boy looked at the brute and exclaimed, “I-I said she was sugoi! Gomen!”

“Put him down you jerk!” Support Gal yelled, holding her fist up in anger. The buff dude was massive compared to her, but knew what power Support Gal had up her sleeve. He tossed down Protag and scoffed.

“Whatever, I didn’t wanna destroy him anyhow,” he said, turning away and looking out towards sea like some sort of deep emotional thinker. Protag Boy, while afraid, couldn’t help but be in awe of his suave nature.

Suddenly, Protag Boy could feel a massive sting on his face. Without even realizing it, he had been slapped on the face and was tuning in to get the pain. He cried in pain, rolling on the floor and looked up to see the girl with her hands on her hips. A girl with green hair was behind her, hiding. “You filthy disgusting man, I hope you’re proud of yourself. Calling an angel like me sugoi? As if I need any of YOUR compliments, you dog,” she spat, snapping her fingers, “Let’s go Antag Gal Friend #1.”

Protag rubbed his cheek and stood up, brushing himself off. What an odd encounter, and even odder people. Support Gal sat down and sighed. “Classic Antag gang, always causing trouble for everyone,” she said leaning back and putting her hands behind her head. Protag Boy sat next to her, still noting the lifeless body of Support Guy. “Antag Guy and Antag Gal. Rich brother and sister who wreak havoc on any school they go to. If it wasn’t for the money, they wouldn’t have lasted a week.”

A massive amount of bubbles soon came up from below the surface, signaling that the bus had arrived. Protag Boy and Support Gal stood up and got in line with everyone else. Support Gal, finally showing a hint of remorse, picked up Support Guy and helped him stand in line.

Blood masked his face, but not from any injuries. No, it was from his nose. Protag Boy was astonished, but couldn’t help laugh. These two were interesting, and there was no doubt they’d get along.

The submarine surfaced from underwater, spraying the group with sea water. Antag Friend had an umbrella ready, however, and covered Antag Gal who was doing her nails. A hatch on the side opened, signaling them to all come inside. Everyone walked inside and took a seat. Protag Boy managed to snag a seat near a window, and watched as the submarine submerged once more into the deep blue. Support Gal plopped down next to him, staring at the back of his head.

It was the first time she was having these feelings. Being a tomboy, she wasn’t normally into guys or anything. There was something about him though, something that made her feel like she was important to him in some way. Maybe to advance something? She couldn’t put her finger on it, so instead she silently admired him behind his back.

Meanwhile, Protag was taking in the sights of the ocean. Fish were everywhere, along with so much coral and whatnot. This ocean was crystal clear, and he could easily make out the school in the distance. “Whoa… Atlantis University,” he whispered, taking in the sight. It was like a giant castle, with a big dome of air surrounding it. Bright lights shone inside, and he could see some other students waiting outside.

The submarine docked and everyone was let off. Protag Boy looked up and a huge smile appeared on his face as he lit up. While the outside let you see inside, the inside replicated the weather outside. Thus, the skies were blue and distant green fields could be seen that weren’t actually there. “A-Amazing!” he exclaimed, looking around at all the students. This place was like an actual school, no sign of water anywhere!

A loud voice boomed from a speaker above them. “Welcome all to Atlantis University! I’m your principal, and I look forward to an amazing school year with all of you!” it said, filling the air with its voice.

Protag Boy grinned and made a fist next to his face. “I’m going to make this year something great!” he called out to nobody in particular.

It was time for homeroom, and Protag Boy noticed that everyone he met at the port was in his class. It was relieving to see some familiar faces. He took a seat in the back right corner of the room next to the window. Looking outside, he noticed that this side of the school was placed directly against the glass, which made it so the ocean could be seen instead of the image. He was alright with that, it was a beautiful ocean and he got to see land all the time. Protag Boy placed his bag on the table and began setting up for class. Support Guy had recovered by now and took his place in front of Protag Boy.

“I can’t wait to watch all these cute girls!!” Support Guy squealed, blood already leaking from his nose.

“Do you think they’re excited to be watched by you?” Protag Boy joked, nudging his friend.

Support Gal sat down in the desk across from Support Guy, keeping some distance from Protag Boy so her heart wouldn’t go crazy. “Of course not! Nobody wants his dirty eyes on their body,” she said, getting her things out.

Support Guy grinned, pulling out another camera he had. “There’s someone out there who can’t wait for Supporting Character #1 to snap some pics of them,” he said, pretending to do a photo op on an imaginary model.

A fist formed and smacked Support Guy on the back of the head. “Shut up baka!” she cried out, his face hitting the table with a thud.

Protag laughed and looked across the room to see Antag Gal, Antag Guy, and Antag Friend sitting two seats across from Protag Boy on his right. He waved. They did not.

“Alright class,” the teacher said, walking into the room, “it’s time to start class. Before we do though, it’s important that I introduce you to a transfer student who just arrived.”

A transfer student already? That was fast, even for first episode standards. In walked a beautiful girl with tan skin and blond hair. It was around the same length as Support Character #2, reaching down to her hips. Protag Boy, Support Guy, Antag Guy, and Antag Gal’s faces all turned red the moment they saw her. She was wearing a modified version of the school uniform, with a super short skirt and midriff showing. Her breasts were also…

“Huge…” whispered Protag Boy, not realizing what he said before it was too late. Support Gal’s fist had already made an impact on his face, sending him backwards to the floor.

“B-Baka!” she angrily whispered, her face flushing red. She turned around and looked down at her somewhat disappointing chest. “B-Bigger doesn’t mean better…”

Support Guy shook his head. “I disagree, every woman with big breasts is ultimately better than those with small-“

There was nothing more to say about what happened next. We’ll miss you, Support Guy.

The teacher was oblivious to all of this, continuing on with the story and character introduction. “Please, tell us about yourself.”

“My name is Love Interest, and I’m transferring here from a place somewhat far away from here. I love making people happy and I hope to be friends with all of you this year,” she stated, giving a head tilt and smile at the end.

Using what little consciousness he had left, Protag Boy sat back up in his chair and sighed. So he wasn’t safe from her wrath it seemed. “There seems to be a seat in the back, please take it,” the teacher said, motioning her towards Protag.

Happily, she walked to the desk and sat down. Protag Boy stared at her, drool slightly escaping from his mouth. Was she out of his league? To be fair, they were already leagues under sea, maybe the bar was lower down here. “Excuse me,” a voice interrupted his thoughts. “You’re really cute.”

Protag Boy noticed it was Love Interest and immediately blushed again. “I’m cute?” he asked, extremely puzzled by what she just said.

Love Interest sat there in silence, contemplating what she had just said. “…Oh GOSH I SAID IT OUTLOUD. I meant can I borrow a pencil!” she cried, her cheeks flushing a deep red. They both were internally freaking out and Support Gal watched in horror as Love Interest slowly took away her boy.

Antag Guy in the meantime decided enough was enough. “Hey, he’s nowhere near as impressive as me,” he scoffed, flexing his huge muscles.

“Me too! I’m super impressive! I’m a k-pop star, an actress, sports fanatic, and so much more!” Antag Gal spoke up, striking a beautiful pose as she said it.

“Oh, really?” she asked, “you two really are impressive if that’s all true.” Oddly enough, it was. Antag Guy had the biggest muscles in the world, Antag Gal was the most talented person in the world. Together, they could take over the world.

Protag grimaced. He wasn’t exactly that impressive, just a run of the mill boy with a great personality.

Class resumed as normal and soon lunch was starting. Protag Boy, Support Guy, Support Gal, and Love Interest all sat at a table. “Man, this school has some really great food,” Protag Boy said, taking a big bite.

“The women aren’t bad either,” Support Guy winked, giving Protag Boy a thumbs up. Protag Boy nodded in agreement. He was right after all.

“So, Love Interest, what’s your home like?” Support Gal asked, ignoring the boys.

She thought a moment before replying, “It’s a lot like here, but with some minor differences I guess.” While explaining, Antag Guy showed up at the table.

“Well, well, well… It’s YOU again,” he hissed, looking at Protag Boy. “If you think you have a chance with Love Interest, you’re wrong!”

“What?” Protag asked, unsure what was happening. It was as if the world was set on fast forward and events were happening too fast one after another.

Antag Guy pulled out a Gatling gun and aimed directly at Protag Boy. “See ya later kid,” he said, putting on a pair of sunglasses. Bullets rained from the gun towards Protag Boy, who dodged and weaved around the bullets to the best of his abilities.

“WHOA MAN CALM DOWN GOODNESS!” he exclaimed, running around and avoiding gunfire. He had to admit, he was pretty good at dodging bullets for being so unfit.

The trio watched in interest as their friend was nearly gunned down when Antag Gal and Antag Friend appeared at the table. “Well gosh, now that those two are busy, what do you say we hang out?” Antag Gal asked, cuddling Love Interest who uncomfortably laughed.

Support Gal was too focused on Protag Boy and his amazing skills to notice Antag Gal was harassing Love Interest. Support Guy was too focused on the two girls cuddling to care at all.

Antag Friend, or Antag Gal Friend #1, watched Protag Boy in awe. He was so handsome. She adjusted her red glasses and twisted her green hair. Being quiet meant that she would never profess her love, but maybe she could do other stuff to get him to notice her.

It was chaos in the lunchroom. Bullet holes were covering the wall, and all the kids were hiding to avoid the fight between the two gonists.

A stray bullet hit the window and everyone stopped what they were doing. Cracks began to form, and everyone just stared in horror. “Oh no…” was all Protag Boy whispered before the window broke and thousands of gallons of water flooded the school.

Everyone screamed and was swept away by the current. Needless to say, classes were canceled that day.

*Insert closing theme*


Dev said she'd make art for it eventually so GET READY.
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retrolinkx
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Re: Gatsobatso - Pilot Episode

Postby retrolinkx » Thu Jun 09, 2016 2:02 am

Here's your closing theme, fam.

I like how it's called Atlantis University but it's a Middle School.

It's quite an anime-esque story isn't it, from the boy running with toast in his mouth to some random pervert taking a snap shot of panties to be called a BAKA. It's not bad but nothing is really helping me to be drawn in to continue reading. Not sure what you could do there to add onto, if it were a manga it might be a bit more to read and help with the imagination, but unless Dev is literally going to write a manga for you, I'm not sure if that can be helped. I do enjoy the anime things that happen though, here's hoping for you (the author) to pop out and explain a scene, or say something like "Damn, they killed Protag Boy, I better bring him back to life" or something along those lines, could add to the humour and disbelief.

Although, stock images of locations from anime and stuff could help to give us some imagination of what's going on.

Keep going though, I do want to see the adventures of Protag Boy. Maybe cut down each chapter to be half as long as that one though, it felt like a drag to read sadly.

Also

Fox Boy wrote:Antag Guy pulled out a Gatling gun and aimed directly at Protag Boy. “See ya later kid,” he said, putting on a pair of sunglasses. Bullets rained from the gun towards Protag Boy, who dodged and weaved around the bullets to the best of his abilities.


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PS: You badly need a "NEXT TIME ON GATSOBATSO" with this playing while you give a sentence or two about what's about to happen.
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Re: Gatsobatso - Pilot Episode

Postby Crazo3077 » Sun Jun 19, 2016 7:12 am

I'll say what I saw directly to Fox so others can see.

Overall I enjoyed it, but I felt overwhelmed by how many tropes were being actively referenced. This might work better as a script than as a piece solely to read, but I can't really fault that, since I feel like I write like that too.

I think feature installments, or a potential repilot, should learn from more recent anime and not force all the characters identities on us at once. Introduce a number of characters, establish them, and maybe hint to others. That's just my take.

I will say it is inspiring, though, because I read this and it makes me think I might as well toss my efforts into my own writing and post it here on CI instead of holding off.
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