Teddy's Adventures in Choa HIATUS

[Lamby]

Welcome to my fantasy installment to be updated with at least one chapter a week, two or more if possible. Contained here is an Oz-like story featuring familiar faces of CI in ways you may or may not expect! What could be in store? Chapters will be short in order to make it easier to catch up on.

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Chapter One: Raven, the Mysterious Youth

The warm afternoon sun settled over a little valley in little Altoona, Pennsylvania, its rays reflecting off dusty railroad tracks that shone silver precisely then, precisely 2:51 PM, precisely the moment a young man’s predictable, bet-you-a dollar, fated to repeat, over-the-counter lifestyle was about to speed full-throttle into the boundless quagmire of destiny.

It was only just moments ago that Teddy Corduroy had taken the biggest risk of his life. He had watched the clock mercilessly keep track of time: it would not move faster for this young man whose only design was love!—love for an angel so divine she was as lovely as Aphrodite herself! Her name was Lisa. Lisa was a remarkable girl, as full as those otherworldly models pictured on unmentionable magazine covers and more beautiful than, well, anyone. He knew that only his inexperienced kiss could satisfy her desires. She had caramel skin and black, curly hair; and her Panamanian accent flowed from her lips like honey. Today was the day he would profess his unrequited love for that perfect creature, to which she would respond by pulling his twiggy body against her chest and locking braces with his.

He had a plan he had meticulously designed the night before. Whereupon the dismissal bell rang he would strut towards her, look into her dark chocolate eyes, give her his phone number, and punctuate each thought with the magic lingo: something like, “I’ve always loved you, my little mamacita. Let’s hop on my hot wheels and take the town by storm tonight.” Finally, the clock struck 2:35 and the students roared as the sound of the bell followed, sacking the classroom and pillaging the halls. Teddy, a twiggy boy with brown hair and brown eyes who looked as formidable as a Pomeranian and sounded just as so, made his move. And if the universe was a teenage boy’s fantasy, he may actually have. He had finally reached her, suffering several shoulder blows to his ribcage, when the unthinkable happened: the woman roared.

She shrugged off his advance with a disdainful sniff and had she the time would have told the creep a thing or two. He was heartbroken and wanted to cry, but as a man, he had pride and refused to show anything less. He swaggered outside of the classroom; a teacher asked him if he was sick to his stomach as he passed by. He could feel his confidence pop like a balloon.

Moments later, he found himself taking a detour from the way home, discontented to follow the safe path laid out for him by his parents: a drab path stretching several blocks along a well-to-do neighborhood. He could hear his mother now. “There are lepers out there, you know—and druggies.” Men didn’t listen to their mothers or let women rip their hearts from their chests, even if the women in particular were grossly ignorant of the strapping lad that could offer skinny arms, a bad mustache, and oh bother, he thought, maybe I am delusional after all. He would give anything to be given the chance to define himself, to prove he was more than a hopeless romantic, a, for lack of eloquence on behalf of a teenage boy, geek. He yanked a coin from his pocket and angrily threw it at the tracks at precisely 2:51 PM, precisely the moment that the sun’s rays reflected off the dusty railroad tracks and blinded Teddy with a bright silver flash that pulled him forward with such force he wondered if a train had just plowed into his back. But he had no more time to ponder as he quickly lost consciousness.

“Wake up, mate! There’s a whole word out there ‘jus waiting ta’ be explored,” said a chipper voice, one that entered in one ear, bounced about the skull, and shot out the other. Teddy shot up from where he lie, startled. Standing before him was a boy about his age. Tall and slender, the mysterious youth’s boyish stance gave Teddy the impression that the boy could run in long strides for hours without tiring; the energy the youth seemed to embody lent even more evidence to that hypothesis. Teddy rubbed his eyes thoroughly, adjusting to the bright morning light that shone down on him. His heart nearly leapt out of his chest. Where was he? How did he get here? What happened?

Teddy turned his head every direction, feeling smaller and smaller as he did so: stretching out for miles in every direction he could was a great jungle canopy with massive, colorful leaves—leaves the colors of brilliant blues, purples and greens—that were so massive they hung low to the ground and sparkled with dew. Teal colored grasses covered the jungle floor; large yellow mushrooms with white spots grew in circles intermittently between trees; a glittering brook weaved through the jungle. He leapt to his feet with a start as a bright light whizzed overhead. A froglike creature appeared to be the source of the light and a bulbous, green, glowing belly the light’s source. The creature’s maintained the same jolly smile no matter which way it moved, quickly going to work. It flew with hummingbird-like wings towards a few saplings that Teddy hadn’t noticed before and turned up the intensity of its green light. The sapling grew larger and larger until an adult tree stood before him bearing strange fruit. Teddy’s eyes widened and he tore his eyes away from the bizarre sight and laid them on the mysterious youth.

“You—you drugged me!” Teddy spat. The youth just laughed and smiled.

“You talk funny, mate. Did you bump your head?” Teddy’s heart sank now that he was finally getting a good look at him. The youth wore a blue cape and baggy clothes, also blue. A sword forged from sapphires hung from the boy’s waist inside a silver scabbard. What Teddy could not rationalize was the aquamarine colored fox ears atop the boy’s head and the fox tail hanging between the boy’s legs. He wanted to ask a myriad of things, but could only formulate the obvious question:

“Who are you?”

“Well itsa ‘bout time you asked. To cruel beasts, I am Raven, harbinger of justice! But since you look really lost, let’s be friends. That way we’ll escape Leaf Forest together. Just call me Mint. It’s my favorite tea.”

Teddy fainted.

_____

Stay tuned for Chapter Two: The Leaf Wizard

[Snowy]

It's Beautiful :'D

[cinnamonstyx]

you do remember my title, don't you?
otherwise i'm hype

[Lamby]

Yes sir. Have it saved. You will appear soon!

[mintdrop]

I don't know about this mysterious raven guy is but he seems awesome :0!!!!!

[chocohugs]

what the heck this is cute

and dat minty

[Corvo]

I don't know what's going on.

But I enjoy it.

[SkyGinge]

Very detailed and sophisticated like one expects from the writing master himself, and you delivered well. Nice work, ABat!

[Lamby]

Chapter Two: The Leaf Wizard

It wasn’t until an afternoon sun was in the sky that Teddy came to. The smell of smoke hit his nostrils and tickled his throat and made him cough. He sat up, finding a beautifully woven, blue quilt with a diamond-shaped pattern underneath him, reminding him of Mint, the boy he’d encountered earlier, and his blue clothes. Teddy decided that wherever he was, whether he was dreaming, high, or actually in another world didn’t matter to him much; here was better than the real world and he was just as helpless, hopeless, and lonely here as he always was there. Sighing, he rubbed his temples and attempted to gather his bearings. A fire pit had been dug just a few feet away from him; stones were set neatly around the pit’s circumference to signify the maximum proximity one could have with the flames.

Different drawings had been carefully etched into each stone with colored chalk. Each drawing contained a blue, masculine stick figure with fox ears and a pink stick figure whose femininity was symbolized by a triangle that mimicked a dress; all together the stones’ artwork seemed to compose a story. Teddy noted that in the first image nearest to him, the girl had her hand in a flowerbed, inattentive to her surroundings, while the fox-boy watched from behind a shrub. On the stone that followed the girl was shedding tears while the boy continued to watch. What story Teddy pieced together afterwards, after observing consecutive stone drawings, was something like this, assuming the fox-boy was who Teddy thought it was:

Mint had been a boy who lived in the forest all on his lonesome, passing the days away exploring and fishing. Eventually, his constant exploration would bring him across a girl, who, judging by the drawings, loved flowers; all the colorful animals of the jungles flocked to her and she seemed to be able to understand them. One day she had encountered a man cloaked in green who cast a spell on one of her animal friends, turning into a tree. In a fit of maniacal laughter the green man hacked the tree into two halves and fled the scene. Mint found her much later and gave her some food and dried her tears. As time passed, the pair became inseparable. The green man’s jealousy could not be contained. While the two slept away in their den, the green man crept inside and kidnapped her, dragging her back with him to his dark designs.

Teddy’s stomach was cramping. What he thought was just minutes studying the stone had turned into a few hours; the shadows of the trees had shifted as the sun changed positions in the sky. For all he knew he could have been out for days and could have missed several meals. If this was Mint’s camp, he would just have to deal with missing supplies. He sifted around the camp site until he found a blue backpack and began rifling through it.

“Blue. Of course,” Teddy muttered. His hand movements slowed to a crawl; he found something sizeable. He greedily yanked whatever it was out of the bag and sunk his teeth into it. His stomach lurched as the taste of sugary bacon leaked down his throat. “P-poison!” Teddy yelped. Merry laughter rang out behind him. He whirled around to glare at whoever it was: Mint.

“You sure are a funny bloke!” Mint roared, clutching his ribs and lying on the ground and kicking his legs into the air.

“This isn’t funny, you moron! I could die.”

“It ain’t poison, mate! Those are dog treats.”

“What?” Teddy wasn’t sure he heard him correctly. “You eat… dog treats?”

“Ayup. A friend of mine used to feed ‘em to me all the time when I made her smile. You… don’t eat treats?”

“No, I don’t,” Teddy sniffed. “Do you have any real food or are you just someone’s delusional pet?” Mint hopped to his feet, jamming his thumb against his chest.

“I ain’t anyone’s pet. I’m a hero and I got a girl to save,” he said, grinning. “So, howza ‘bout this? Let’s work together to save my friend and I’ll make sure she gives ya all the ‘people food’ you want.” To this, Teddy miserably choked down one of the biscuits.

“I can’t wait,” Teddy sighed. “Where is this? I don’t suppose I got lucky enough to have gotten hit by a train.”

“Aw, cheer up. Don’t let no ruddy bad luck get ya down. This is the land of magic. Where if you can think it, it can exist. Choa, the land of dreams. You follow?”

“Okay. How about a fluffer-nutter?” This was, of course, pure nonsense created to throw Mint off. Mint mrr’ed pensively. After a moment it looked as if a light-bulb had gone off inside.

“Follow me!” He grabbed Teddy by the arm and dragged him full speed ahead into the jungle, passing tall, curly weeds and pink lichen fastened to the trunks of the lush, multicolored jungle trees. The wide leaves slapped Teddy in the face repeatedly as Mint hauled him up into a tree where something bizarre was growing. A white, cottony cluster hung off a branch, bearing a fist-sized peanut. Mint yanked it from the tree and tossed it to Teddy.

“I don’t believe this…” Teddy groaned; however, realizing it looked close enough to a peanut, shrugged and took a bite. “Mint, if I’m going to be putting up with you, I should probably know who your girlfriend is and what it is that you’re doing out here.” Mint suddenly became very grave and put away his treats.

“The Leaf Wizard turned everything we cared about into Vegetable Soldiers. If the victim was too weak he cursed them into the shape of a tree and chopped them down so that they could never be returned to normal. ‘An he’s a fake if I ever saw one! What kind of wizard curses people just to be dramatic? And if he hurt her…”

“Just tell me the whole story.”

_____

Deep in the darkest part of the jungle a stone cabbage sat, towering over all the trees around it. The animals said that the cabbage struck terror into their hearts and sweet teeth, not that they remembered anything about sweets; Choa’s fabled chocolate lakes hidden in the darkest depths of the jungle had long been stolen by the Leaf Wizard. Above all sweets, the Wizard considered chocolate the most dangerous pollutant in all of Choa. The Leaf Wizard gazed deep into his crystal lettuce, observing Teddy and Mint.

“’An he just thinks his fashion sense impresses the girls with that pudding swirl haircut. He’s a rube!” Minty said. The Wizard simmered and simmered until he was as red and angry as a cooked tomato.

“How dare he compare me to that foul… dessert! I have had it. Let’s see how they like egg on their faces. GUARDS.”

___

Stay tuned for Chapter Three: A Lesson in Funk

[SkyGinge]

Awesome, in a word. This story is already working 100% better than your horror one did. I love the characterisation, the ideas, everything really. I hope more users get included too, and I'm sure you'll flesh them out brilliantly too. Impressive.

[Lamby]

Most active users will find themselves within.

Currently, Omelet, Techno, and Choco are in the works for the next batch of chapters. But you will see users from all walks of forum life. Possibilities are limitless, and I have no maximum number of inclusions. I can't promise that everyone will be a main character though. I'll try.

I'd also like to say that being cast as villain doesn't mean I dislike you. It means that CI shenanigans that I have seen involving you or your username has inspired me. Leaf isn't the only bad guy. You may find that villains are more gray. There's a myriad planned.

Whatever role you're given will be done justice.

[cinnamonstyx]

a lesson in funk......................

[Chaos the Light Chao]

The apparent antagonist is an overzealous nutritionist.

Well, that's a new one.

[SkyGinge]

To be honest, I'd consider the role of a villain an honour, in fact I'd rather be a villain than a hero. Again, I don't mind being portrayed as whatever, so if you do choose to include me then I really won't care what I'm made to do. When do you think the next chapter will be up?

[Lamby]

The apparent antagonist

or is he.

When do you think the next chapter will be up?

Today or tomorrow, I expect. It's a lucky week.

[PinkIceFox]

:3 I'm excited to see how you write me~

[Lamby]

Chapter Three: A Lesson in Funk, the zaniest chapter yet

“So let me get this straight. You finally met the love of your life just to have her ripped away from you by some nutrition freak?” Teddy asked.

“Ayup, that description is savvy enough.”

“So you’re a fox boy that couldn’t smell this guy coming?”

“Now that ain’t ‘zactly fair, Ted.”

“Sorry, sorry… guess you’re in the dog house?” Mint chucked a fluffer-nutter at Ted’s forehead.

“Ow!”

“Too slow, mate.”

“You’re not as cool as you think, fuzzy!” Teddy tackled him off the shimmering tree branch and the two bounced off the giant, cool-colored leaf into a massive tulip that spilled them out onto the ground as their weight brought it down, scattering marshmallows all over them. Mint just laughed, pointing at Teddy and rolling around.

“I like ya, Ted. We’ll be great friends!”

“Just don’t get mushy. We’ll help each other like we agreed, okay?”

“I'm thinking it’s a lady friend ya need.”

“Shut up! Do you know where this Wizard is or what?” Teddy dusted white powder off his clothes before hauling himself to his feet. Tulips with marshmallows in them hardly fazed him in a world that resembled a web-comic at best and acid trip at worst. He didn’t want Mint to know it, but part of Teddy could relate with him. It wasn’t too long ago that Lisa had crushed Teddy’s own hopes. And since Mint had yet to call him a shrimp, wimp, geek, or loser he at least owed him compassion. But you just don’t tell other guys that for some reason.

“Before I met you, mate, I found out from a wise but bizarre fella that the Wizard lives deep in the deepest part of the jungle. So deep that the deepest parta’ the jungle is deeply dark—so deep that—“

“Alright already, I get it: it’s deep!” Mint laughed heartily, placing his hands at his waist.

“The Leaf Wizard is only one problem. See, it’s like this, mate: once upon a time, the Land of Choa was a beautiful place. Every country, from the Candy Forest (here) to the Foxland to the Pasta Plain to the Dominion of Dev, more countries than I know, was at peace. One day, back when I was a wee bloke, a group of interlopers conspired to divide Choa up for themselves. Even the fabled Rainbow Knights and the Legion of Chrome couldn’t blow ‘em over. Before ya knew it, there was a new ruler everywhere. My friend and I were gonna unite a band of heroes against the Pickled Plague—the dark rulers—and stop them from attacking ev’ry country of sorts. But when the Leaf Wizard found that out, his jealousy went through the bloody roof and he got really boiled. When I find ‘em, I’ll box his ears in!” But Mint’s threats would have to stop there.

“There will be no dicing today,” a voice boomed. Standing before them was a man in bright yellow, Shakespearean shorts and a white cape who wore half an eggshell on his head that was adorned with topaz. He wielded a golden scepter on his hand that was topped with an egg. He whistled sharply and a few carrots with menacing expressions joined his sides. This curiously egg-shaped villain wore a severe look on his face. “Guards, seize them!” The carrot guards bounced toward our heroes no holds barred.

“You’re kidding me!” Teddy was beside himself with laughter. This was the Leaf Wizard’s best?

“This ain’t a joke, Ted,” Mint gulped.

“They’re carrots—chop them!” At this Mint’s eyes widened. Then he grinned.

“If you say so, mate.” Mint pulled his sapphire blade from its sheath and arced through the carrots, felling all of them at once.

“You’ll pay for destroying the Leaf Wizard’s soldiers, mutt,” said the yellow man. “Feast your eyes on this!” He spun his Egg Scepter in a circular motion, building energy and creating an ominous, golden that light that poured from the egg on top and temporarily blinded Mint, forcing him to stagger backward. Resting the scepter on his shoulder as one would a handle a bazooka, the yellow man conjured a great floating egg and blasted Mint off his feet, sending his sword clattering beside him.

“You cheeky blighter…” Mint moaned.

“Now you, human. Face the might of Eggmandias, the Breakfast Omelet Scourge and loyal sorcerer to the Leaf Wizard!” He began to conjure more egg-artillery.

“I don’t believe this,” Teddy sighed, “just kill me.” Suddenly, the trees around them began swaying to and fro, dancing a bolero in their flowerbeds. The flying frogs perched on the massive branches of the trees, croaking together in a choral effort Teddy just could not believe.

“What is the meaning of this?” bellowed Eggmandius, “stop that—all of you!” A tall, smiling man confidently emerged from the shadows of the jungle with his hands in his waistcoat pockets. His flesh was as silver as a polished coin; Teddy could only see his face at first, then later his forearms, as he calmly pulled his hands from his pockets and rolled up his sleeves, but he was sure his metallic skin reached everywhere. The man wore large sunglasses and as he approached, Teddy thought he could make out fangs poking from between his tin lips. After a series of claps, the mysterious tin man had signaled the music to cease: and it did. “How dare you interrupt me with this trash?”

“Must be the music,” the man said, inclining his head to get a better look at Eggmandius. The air around this fellow was so suave that even Mint turned up his head off the ground.

“Don’t you dare bring this nonsense here,” Eggmandius said.

“I’m here for them, kid. Back it or pack it,” the man crooned, thrusting his thumb behind himself.

“Prepare to die, hippie!” Eggmandius began to conjure the most colossal egg he could. The sky darkened as it eclipsed the sunlight pouring through the canopy leaves. The mysterious man cast off his waistcoat, leaving him in a brilliant white tuxedo with a diamond bowtie.

“That’s Tin Man Wizard Disco Funk Wizard Funk Techno Master Vampire, son,” he said, pulling a microphone from his clothes. “Sit down for a while!” Sound waves shattered the mighty egg, raining such a torrent of yolk upon Eggmandius’ head that he slid down a hill into a lake.

“This isn’t over,” he cried.

“Who are you?” Teddy asked, pulling Mint to his feet.

“Tin Man Wizard Disco Funk Wizard Funk Techno Master Vampire Extraordinaire, or Pat Tom. We’ve been watching you two.”

____

Next time... Chapter Four: The Order of Dev

[PinkIceFox]

When Atomic told me about this character I almost fell out of my seat laughing.

Just so you know.

He also has the best theme.

[SkyGinge]

“I thinking it’s a lady friend ya need.”

This sounds a little odd. I think that "I'm" instead of "I" would work better here.

Anyway, I'm loving the new characters. Keep up the good work!

[Lamby]

Oh dang. That's a typo. Better fix that.

[SkyGinge]

It wasn't that obvious anyway. It just looked like more of Mint's usual dialogue.

[cinnamonstyx]

a lesson in funk......................

[chocohugs]

a lesson in funk......................

[Lamby]

You're up next, Choco. The Order of Dev isn't just coincidentally half of your name!

I'm taking a writing break for today, but I'll definitely have Chapter Four up by Tuesday.

[SkyGinge]

Yay! :D who's set to appear soon then ABat?