A Team and Friends a Chao Story

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swimic
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A Team and Friends a Chao Story

Post by swimic »

intro
sonic had a brother he didn't know about, his brother was one of the first caught by Eggman, Eggman tried to robot-a-sises the brother, but instead he became mutated and fell out of the space ship and was going to the atmosphere. he landed on earth at a tiny island and Sonic's brother is now known as aqua the mutated hedgehog.

chapter one evolutions
in the island aqua landed in their was a dead body and a basket. in the basket their were eggs, chao eggs, the two eggs were hatching the chao came out and sat down :blink: :blink: aqua found a note that says "please take care." so he did. him and the chao found a hot spring aqua and the one of the chao went in it the other one didn't want to then all of a sudden the chao in the water evolved and became a dark swimming chao! then aqua reliesed that the other chao was gone! aqua saw it about to jump of cliff aqua tried to catch the chao but he couldn't( :cry: :darkcry: :herocry: ) .then it started flying and the evolved into a hero flying chao. so aqua named them dark swimming is now Swimic (boy) hero flying is now Fly E (girl).

chapter two catching up to present
(all my chao stuff are real i have them in my sonic adventure 2)through time they found an other egg not long after that swimic and fly e mated the two other eggs hatched and one became flare (boy neutral power) and speedy(boy neutral run). swimic and fly e mated again and made wing e (girl neutral flying). they found soul a dark running shiny white chao. wing e and flare mated and made swimmy(girl hero swim)they also found 3 shiny blue chao's named sanik, conik, monik they are al neutral running and boys. wing e mated with soul making a no name shiny white chao that's only a child about to become a hero.

the action is next time in so many "miles" to go
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swimic
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Re: A Team and Friends a Chao Story

Post by swimic »

did i do good if i didn't tell me what i messed up on
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RileyTheChao123
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Re: A Team and Friends a Chao Story

Post by RileyTheChao123 »

Um, it has potential, but punctuation (specifically commas) is lacking quite a bit, and also, Chao dont just evolve like that! hero and dark chao need interaction from certain people to evolve, one person would cause them to evolve into the same type, and they didnt have any animals or Chaos Drives to make them evolve into swim or fly chao,
so some work is needed, but potentially it could be very good!
Im back, it feels good...
and guess what? i still got...
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Snowy
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Re: A Team and Friends a Chao Story

Post by Snowy »

It is a story Riley, it dosen't really have to be made out of real facts.
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RileyTheChao123
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Re: A Team and Friends a Chao Story

Post by RileyTheChao123 »

Yeah I guess so
Im back, it feels good...
and guess what? i still got...
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IgorTheChaoTrainer
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Re: A Team and Friends a Chao Story

Post by IgorTheChaoTrainer »

Nice Thing :darkcool: :herocool: :cool:
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swimic
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Re: A Team and Friends a Chao Story

Post by swimic »

riley dude do i want to boar you with
me keep on going to level and getting chaos drives and animal also **** punctuation
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KeatonLabs
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Re: A Team and Friends a Chao Story

Post by KeatonLabs »

Dude without correct punctuation, i seriously cant help but just nitpick and it seems highly unprofessional.I'm sorry but if i had to rate this...*thumbs down*.Another thing is how it annoys me how many people use a character in some way related to a main character such as sonic,tails,knuckles, etc. in ways other than species.Use of smilies causes my browser to slow down and im sorry but i barely enjoyed this.Another thing, the chao randomly evolving.I know this doesnt have to follow he actual game mechanics but this was just plain ridiculous.The way you started also gives me this feel of unless some major improvement is made, this has little to no potential to me.Im sorry but i just dont like it.
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