removed

[Prince Ricard]

no not the bard
noooooooo
seriously though because he was a bard it made the storytelling instantly bardlike

[Lamby]

Haha, he'll be back very soon, I'm just making things suspenseful.

[Lamby]

.

[PinkIceFox]

xD I love this new guy. He's silly.

I'm glad Brandt is alright! I was worried he'd be caught by the countess and captured!

[Zacmac74]

I love it!!! Lindsay is prob my favorite character so far.

[Linds 269]

Oh my gosh I love this. The Raven is apparently a flirt?? xD Made me laugh. c: Welp, can't wait to find Brandt and Twiddle. :3 And now Lindsay has some help! Looking forward to tomorrow. :)

[Lamby]

Thanks guys, glad you enjoyed it! Trying some new planning methods.

[Prince Ricard]

Maybe this is dead.

I know you probably meant "maybe this is death," but the incoherency of that actually set the mood nicely.

[Lamby]

No, that was intentional. Dead is a state of being while death is present tense, meaning that saying "maybe this is death" implies "maybe this is what dying feels like." If you think you have died, and you're referring to sensations, the word is dead. If you think you are dying and feeling things, the word is death. Her narration is also stream of consciousness, meaning that her thoughts do not necessarily follow one tense. Thank you, but it isn't incoherency, you are just thinking of different semantics that mean something else. The mood you like can only be created using dead.

Regardless, thank you for offering criticism, and if you ever see something else that concerns you, feel free to post.

[mintdrop]

I just want to say that this story is really really cool and I am an active reader! I really love how everyone has a backstory :3

AND WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS RAVEN NIGHT
I THINK HE'S THE BEST CHARACTER HANDS DOWN

[Lamby]

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[PinkIceFox]

D:< TWADDLE YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF BRYTE'S BARD. I called dibs.

I'm happy he's back! I was worried about him! NOW WE MUST SAVE TWIDDLE.

[Linds 269]

Aww, Minty and I saved the day x) this was sooo cute! That Twaddle was intimidating! I sure hope Twiddle is okay. And of course Raven has to embarrass everyone xD Sooo looking forward to the next chapter! :D

[Zacmac74]

I still love it!!

Gosh you have the best party ever. And you portray all of your characters really nicely.

[Lamby]

@Ravenyte: He seems silly now, but he has things locked away inside. Ch. 11 will be about Raven. Thanks!

@Everyone: Thanks for your continued support!

[Prince Ricard]

A spoonful of bard.
A SPOONFUL OF BARD.
Let me go hit my head against the wall for a while.

[Lamby]

Put it in just for you.

[Lamby]

.

[PinkIceFox]

Annabel?! Who is this Annabel my bard woobie speaks of. D:

[Linds 269]

Ahhhh this is still so good! I can't believe Raven and Lindsay got that uptight at each other haha! But good thing that was avoided. I hope we get to see Twiddle (or, Raechel) soon!

[Lamby]

Haha. Lindsay and Raven are more similar than they realize. This and the Annabel question shall be answered in time!

[Prince Ricard]

"Well excuse me, Princess."
I love it, but there's always the one line that makes me sigh.

[Lamby]

That is what you call an allusion. The ridiculousness of Raven and Lindsay's argument is analogous to the ridiculousness of the reference. As with all comedic allusions, the humor does not come from the reference itself, but the serious situation in which it's being used. Humor is a tool of hyperbole and exaggeration before it is anything else.

Here's a writing trade secret for you: if you want the reader to feel what the main character is feeling in any given moment, in this case concerning Brandt feeling defeated, manipulate their emotions with allusions, and you can set the mood without stating it.

tl;dr i'm in your head. boo

[Lamby]

.

[PinkIceFox]

;-; Awww. Poor Brandt! He needs all of my hugs. I don't want to see him cry!

I loved the banter between Lindsay and Raven. And 'drunk' Brandt and Patryk were hilarious. xD