Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo

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Crash32
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Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo

Post by Crash32 » Sun Jun 21, 2015 8:32 am

(STORY by RETROLINKX, ARTWORK AND EDITING by CRASH32. Images are BELOW the relevant text. Part 1 of ?)

Gather round kids. (Soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NTfCbfvwM8)

Now I'm gonna tell ya'll a story. A story of a crazy fool named, Nano. He was a one of a kind Engineer. He used to be able to build a sentry gun in seconds and have it upgraded before the other team knew what hit em'. If you needed to get somewhere fast, the teleporter was already up and ready. Slap bang where you needed it. If you needed health fast and was running outta ammo his dispenser was right there. He knew what to build, how to build it and where to build it.

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I met him many years ago and we became friends in minutes. He was always a lot of fun, and even though there were times when we didn't get along and he'd change teams I knew deep down he never hated me. I'll never forget the day he gave me a personalized Sapper. In fact...I've got it right here.

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JohnnyCrash's Steelport Justice Injector....heh, always the joker.

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His greatest trick was his Rancho though. It was always the thing that made the other team angrier than bees inside a recently punched beehive. Although, I will never forget the day that his Rancho Relaxo saved the entire team, and possibly the world as we know it.

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It was a normal game on pl_frontier. (Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeDI-ahJT04)

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The Blu's were full of tryhards that day, they pushed us back to our last defense. The payload was on it's way and we were no match for them. That was until Nano had an idea.

"That's it man, it's over. Game Over Man. GAME OVER." (Some Scout)

"WHAT DO WE DO, WHAT DO WE DO?" (Some Medic)

"MUNAHUNAHAUNA!" (Some Pyro)

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"Yo, Fox. What do we do?" That was Retro, we knew him for years but he only started fighting with us a few months ago.

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"If they get that payload to the final terminus..." That was me, Crash. I was a handsome young bloke.

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"No. They won't. I got an idea." (Fox as an Engie)

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Last edited by Crash32 on Mon Apr 25, 2016 3:33 am, edited 4 times in total.

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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo

Post by Nano » Sun Jun 21, 2015 8:36 am

10/10 I'm really excited for this.
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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo

Post by retrolinkx » Sun Jun 21, 2015 6:56 pm

Too bad no one else is.

This is discussion we're doing here guys. Story is discussion.
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Picka and Fox's Partner, Retro's Legend.
Fox Boy wrote:fusion+pie=fusion pie!

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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo

Post by KeatonLabs » Sun Jun 21, 2015 7:24 pm

Discussing discussion, this is Grade A discussion

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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo

Post by Crash32 » Sat Jun 27, 2015 7:47 am

Now, I never considered Nano to be a smart guy. Sure he got the brawn but not the brains. Today though, he was different. The mix of tryhards, noobs and pyros was getting to him. Must've knocked his brain back into place that day.

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"Alright you noobs. Listen up." (Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2QpThyVL8s&index=20)
"Now I was never a man for speeches. In fact I'd be the last person you'd find writing a speech, speaking a speech and listening to a speech but today is a special day. Today is a day where we will win, not through bravery, not through skill. We won't fight on the beaches, we won't fight on the landing grounds, we won't fight in the field and in the streets, we won't fight in the hills; but we shall never surrender. We're going to win without a fight. They think we cannot beat them. It will not be easy. It will be a long job; it will be a terrible round; but in the end we shall relax through terror to triumph. I want you all to go Engineer, get out your Ranchos, and relax."

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"We're gonna go out there, and Rancho Relaxo our way to victory. Get in front of that Payload and block it. When one of you dies, another one shall be there blocking it and when he dies, another and another and another. We won't fail. This fight will be won by pure laziness. There will be losses. No war has ever been won with no casualties and if it has it wasn’t a war so get out there and rancho like you've never rancho'd before."

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[A small update is better than no update!]

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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo

Post by retrolinkx » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:08 am

I believe in you Fox.

We can do this.
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Picka and Fox's Partner, Retro's Legend.
Fox Boy wrote:fusion+pie=fusion pie!

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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo

Post by Crash32 » Thu Aug 06, 2015 9:44 am

"YEAHHHHHHHHHH" The red team respond excitedly.
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Meanwhile, right outside spawn, Fox is blocked by a familiar face. "Fox, are you sure this is going to work?"
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"Retro and I are basically going to kill ourselves for you". "Crash is right, Fox."
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"It'll work."
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[Tune in next time as it actually gets exciting. Maybe I'll spend half an hour making images of something other than dialogue]

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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo

Post by Crash32 » Fri Aug 07, 2015 8:53 am

I thought he was crazy, and hell. He was pretty damn crazy. I don't know why we followed his plan. I don't know why I didn't just get the heck outta there when I could. That speech, that boost to our morale. That...everything just capsulated me.
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"Ahhh...life of Reiley!"
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"Mission begins in 60 seconds"
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"Mission begins in 30 seconds"
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"FIVE"
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"FOUR"
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"THREE"
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"TWO"
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"ONE" (Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBdQDGGNg8E)
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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo [UPDATE]

Post by retrolinkx » Sun Jan 10, 2016 4:44 am

Update never.
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Picka and Fox's Partner, Retro's Legend.
Fox Boy wrote:fusion+pie=fusion pie!

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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo [UPDATE]

Post by Crash32 » Sun Jan 10, 2016 8:11 am

The battle was brutal, the tryhards were in full force today. The pryos burnt through our ranchos like they were nothing, but we didn't give up. We followed Nano's orders all the way, even though many of us were burnt, backstabbed, shot, punched, whacked and blasted. The lines of rancho's remained strong.

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It was going well until the noobs started getting scared and retreated.

"IT'S NOT WORKING, WE'RE NOT GONNA DO IT"
"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE"

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"GET BACK HERE DAMN IT"
"We're done for, Retro." Crash said, seemingly giving up hope.

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The breakdown of the rancho line was devastating but with the few members of the team left still ranchoing, we had kept the payload from reaching the final terminus.

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We just needed some more time, but that's when it happened.

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They ubered.

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[Over an hour of effort to produce a post that takes 30 seconds to read. I hope someone considers that worthwhile because I certainly don't :blah: ]

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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo [UPDATE]

Post by Nano » Sun Jan 10, 2016 10:34 pm

I can confirm that the uber did indeed happen.

Well done!
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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo [UPDATE]

Post by retrolinkx » Sun Apr 24, 2016 11:00 pm

Is Crash updating this or what?

I spent a good 20 or so minutes coming up with this last year.
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Picka and Fox's Partner, Retro's Legend.
Fox Boy wrote:fusion+pie=fusion pie!

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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo [UPDATE]

Post by Crash32 » Mon Apr 25, 2016 1:58 am

Inspired by Mann Vs Machine

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Re: Fox Boy and the Rancho of Relaxo [UPDATE]

Post by Nano » Mon Apr 25, 2016 1:59 am

What a low blow :'(
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